


I'll Be Home For Christmas

by Slaymesoftly



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-18
Updated: 2015-12-28
Packaged: 2018-05-07 11:20:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 31,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5454740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Slaymesoftly/pseuds/Slaymesoftly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Buffy/Spike if you squint, this is a future story that takes place when Spike has been dust for many years. It's set in the world of Hearts Breaking Even and The Last Good-bye, but many years later. Buffy has a daughter and meets her English teacher, who reminds her too much of someone else.  They like each other immediately, but dating can be complicated when you look like the daughter's father...Not a reunion fic as such, but close enough?  If the Prologue looks familiar, it's because it was a ficlet for sb_fag_ends Halloween prompts. It's short, and the story begins right after it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> AN: This takes place at some unspecified time in the future. Somewhat later than now (2015), but not so far in the future that it’s all that different from our time. If we go by the approximate date in The Last Good-bye, Joyce was probably born in early 2009, which would make this 2025 or so. And the location is pretty vague because I didn’t need a specific location for my original ficlet. And, if we assume (which we kinda have to) that this ensued from the events in The Last Goodbye, which was sort of a sequel to Hearts Breaking Even set quite a few years after those events, then I may be forced to consider the whole thing another series….even though the first fic began in season one and this one takes place over 20 years later.

**I’LL BE HOME FOR CHRISTMAS**

**PROLOGUE - Parent – Teacher Conference (from sb_fag_ends)**

“I really don’t have time for this. You’d think by the time your kid was in high school, she wouldn’t need Mom coming in to help her out.” Buffy flew into the building lobby and looked back and forth. “English class, English class, which way is that wing?”

A passing student smiled at her. “Hi, Mrs. Summers. What are you looking for?”

“Oh, hi, Jeanne. I’m looking for Joyce’s English teacher. A Mr…. Patterson?”

“Oh yeah.” Jeanne’s face took on a dreamy expression. “Mr. Patterson. I wish I’d gotten him this year…”

“Well, you’d be welcome to him,” Buffy muttered. “Were do I find him?”

“He’s down that hall. Second room on your left.”

“Thanks.”

“No prob. Tell Joyce I said hi.”

Buffy was already marching down the indicated hallway, stopping when she got to the second room on the left. She rolled her eyes at the cartoons pasted all over the closed door, then raised her hand and knocked.

“Come in.” The warm voice didn’t do much to ease Buffy’s impatience, but she did find herself smiling as she entered the room and focused on the man behind the desk. “What can I do for you?” he asked, raising an inquisitive eyebrow.

“I’m Buffy Summers. Joyce’s mother? I need to talk to you about—” She froze. Smiling back at her, was a man who could have bleached his hair and passed for Spike. If Spike had lived into his 40s and was… human.

When Buffy said nothing, but continued to stare, he shuffled the papers in front of him and sighed, as if her reaction was a familiar one. 

The sigh, and the accompanying knowing expression, snapped Buffy out of it. 

“I’m sorry. That was rude. It’s just that you look so much like someone I… I used to know. I’ll be all right.” She laughed in embarrassment. “Thank God you don’t have a British accent or I’d be dragging you to the window to see how the sun affects you.”

He raised his eyebrows. “Well, that _is_ a new approach. Not the ‘haven’t we met before’ aspect of it, but the dragging me to the window to see if I… what? Tan? Freckle?” 

When Buffy’s face went white, he lost his confident aspect. “Ms Summers? Are you all right?”

“No. Yes.” She shook herself. “Of course I’m all right. You just startled me, that’s all. It’s really an amazing resemblance. But of course you aren’t…. and he’s… gone. And has been for years.”

He cocked his head at her, and she tried not to let him see how she was reacting to that gesture. But he had. “And if I’d had a British accent? As a rather large number of my aunts, uncles and cousins do? What then?”

“Heh.’ Buffy forced another laugh, regaining control of herself and remembering why she was there. “Well, then I guess we’d be back to my dragging you into the sun,” she said. “But you’re safe. I just wanted to talk to you about Joyce’s zero on her last assignment.”

“I’m quite sure I’m safe,” he said, standing up and visibly taking in her petite frame with an appreciative gaze. “I may not be a Neanderthal, but I do think I have a good fifty pounds on you. I doubt you could drag me anywhere I didn’t want to go.”

“You’d be surprised,” she responded with a genuine grin. “I didn’t really come here to threaten you, though, I just wanted to explain about our somewhat… unusual… lifestyle and why Joyce really needs a few more days on that assignment.”

“Perhaps you would be willing to explain it to me over dinner this evening?” 

Buffy’s eyes widened in surprise, although his expression indicated he was just as surprised as she was by the invitation. She studied his bewildered face for a moment, then smiled and nodded.

“That sounds like a wonderful idea. And you can tell me about your relatives that do have British accents.”

“If you’ll tell me what the sun has to do with anything.”

“Maybe. When we know each other better,” she said with a wry twist to her mouth. “That’s probably not something I want to share just yet.”

He frowned, but nodded. “Shall we say 7:00? At the Golden Goose?”

She nodded back and turned to leave. “Seven it is. See you there.” She gave him another dazzling smile as she walked to the door.

“Yes you will,” he said to himself as she disappeared from sight. “You most definitely will Ms I-would-drag-you-into-the-sun Summers.”

 

**CHAPTER ONE**

“Joyce? Are you home yet?”

“I’m right here, Mom. Where did you think I’d be?”

“I don’t know. Here, I guess.” Buffy sighed and dropped her purse. “Okay, so I went in to talk to your English teacher today and—”

“Mr. Patterson? He’s yummy, isn’t he?” At Buffy’s narrow-eyed stare, Joyce hastily corrected herself. “I mean if you’re, you know, old like he is. Not that a lot of girls don’t care that he’s old, but I do. I mean, he’s as old as you are and that’s just…. Not making this better, am I?”

“Let’s review, you’ve managed to refer to your English teach as ‘yummy’, then said that he’s too old, which doesn’t bother some of your friends as much as it does you, because you know he’s as old as your elderly mother. Did I miss anything else I should be concerned about or offended by?”

“I’m just going to go do my homework now,” Joyce mumbled, turning her face back to the books on the dining room table.

“Well, make part of that homework a rough draft of the essay you owe Mr. Patterson. Just in case I can talk him into accepting it a few days late.”

“Isn’t that what you went in there for today? To see why he is being such a pain when all my other teachers—”

Buffy flushed and turned her face away. “It was, but I… we… got sidetracked, so I didn’t get to it. But we’re going to meet… later tonight… for dinner. And we’ll talk about it then.”

“You’re going out with Mr. Patterson? Like on a _date_?” Joyce’s expression was an interesting mix of horror, admiration, and curiosity.

“We’re just meeting for dinner,” Buffy said primly. “It’s not really a date, date. At least I don’t think it is…”

You should go get cleaned up,” Joyce said firmly. “And wear something less ‘I teach girls to kill things with their bare hands’ ish.”

“It’s not a date,” Buffy said firmly. “I’m just meeting your teacher for dinner so we can discuss school stuff.”

“Uh huh. Go change clothes anyway.” Joyce went back to her books. 

**XXXXXX**

Buffy took a deep breath before she entered the restaurant, steeling herself to ignore how much Joyce’s teacher looked like Spike and to stick to discussing why her daughter might have occasional incidents outside of school that would prevent her from turning work in on time. With luck, he wouldn’t want her to go into too much detail about why Joyce might have to miss school.

She pushed the door open and looked around, immediately spotting Mr. Patterson on a barstool. _So much for not being reminded of Spike_. As soon as he saw her, he slid off the stool and carried his drink to a small table nearby. She walked to it quickly, smiling at him when he held a chair for her before sitting himself.

“Thanks. Didn’t mean to interrupt your drinking.”

“You didn’t. I just wasn’t sure if you’d be on time… or even here, for that matter, so I booked a table, but I was prepared to amuse myself if you didn’t show.”

“Why wouldn’t I come?” Buffy frowned at him. “We didn’t get anything discussed or settled this afternoon.”

“Well, except that if I had the British accent many of my relatives do, you would want to expose me to sunlight. Don’t think I’m forgetting that.” He tipped his glass at her and asked, “What would you like to drink?”

“What are you having?”

“A moderately priced Jack Daniels label. Would you like some of that?”

Buffy shook her head and shuddered. “A world of no,” she said. “I’ll have a glass of white wine… a chardonnay, not too oaky.”

“A woman who knows her wines. I like that.” He smiled again and signaled the waitress over to put in Buffy’s order.

“I don’t really know anything,” she admitted. “I just figured out a few things I usually like and I stick to ordering one of them.”

“And she’s honest. More to like.” He cocked his head at her, the intense perusal making her squirm uncomfortably. 

The waitress brought her wine and asked if they were ready to order. Mr. Patterson turned his warm smile on her, saying, “Not yet, we aren’t. We need some time to enjoy our drinks and get to know each other. Give us a little while, would you, darlin’?” Rather than take offense at the familiarity, their server simpered and giggled her agreement. When she’d left, he turned back to Buffy to find her staring at him the same way she had in his classroom earlier in the day.

“You’re doing it again,” he said, raising his glass to her. “Shall we make a toast to whoever it is I remind you of?”

“Oh God. I’m so sorry. I know that’s really rude, but…. I’m sorry. I really am.”

He continued to hold up his glass. “Well if we can’t drink to him… whoever he is, can we drink to the fact that he’s not here and I am?”

Buffy shut her eyes and bit her lip. “I’m sorry. This was a bad idea. I just wanted to talk to Joyce’s teacher. I didn’t know you were going to look so much like… or that I wouldn’t be able to handle it after all these years. I’m sorry,” she repeated.

He set his glass down on the table and reached across it to put a hand over hers.

“No. I’m sorry. It was obvious yesterday that my appearance was causing you some trauma. I should never have asked you out. Not until we knew each other better, anyway,” he finished with wry smile that Buffy refused to identify as a smirk. He gave her hand a little squeeze then withdrew his and drained his glass, signaling the waitress for another drink.

Buffy sighed. “Can we start over?” She held out her hand to hand to him. “Hi. I’m Buffy Summers, Joyce Summers’ mother, and I’d like to talk to you about some extenuating circumstances that might cause her to be late with assignments.” Before he could do any more than accept the handshake, she went on. “She isn’t not going to do them. It’s just that sometimes she might have to be… out of town… with me, and she’ll be turning them in late. She can’t help it, and I hate that it might affect her grade.”

Still holding the handshake, he responded, “Hello, Ms. Summers – may I call you Buffy? I’m Bill Patterson, Joyce’s curmudgeonly English teacher. It’s nice to meet you, and I am certainly willing to hear what you have to say.” 

With every bit of strength she could summon, Buffy managed not to flinch at hearing his name was a version of William. Instead, she smiled as she dropped his hand and reached for her glass. She took a ladylike, if very hearty drink from it, then set it down and met his gaze.

“Okay. Let’s get this parent-teacher conference back on track.”

“Dinner first. Or during,” he added quickly when she started to frown. “We will talk about Joyce and her grades, I promise you. But I did ask you out because I wanted to see you again, so can we at least pretend it’s a date?”

Buffy laughed and nodded. “We can pretend it’s whatever you want. I at least owe you that for being so rude so often.” She opened her menu and tried to focus on picking something to eat. She could hear him chuckling to himself. “What?” 

He was gazing at her with a bemused smile on his face. 

“Just laughing at myself and my ego,” he said. “And a bit ashamed that it took so long for me to realize that you weren’t staring at me and becoming speechless because….” He let his voice trail off. “Comes of working in a building with a mostly female staff and a lot of hormonal students, I guess.”

“Trust me, I’ve already heard that many of the girls think you’re ‘yummy’,” Buffy said with a smirk of her own. “If the teachers think you’re yummy too, I can see why you thought you’d knocked me speechless with your good looks.”

He blushed and ducked his head, suddenly appearing as abashed as a little boy. “Kind of ridiculous, isn’t it?”

“No. It’s not.” She wondered how much to share with him. “The… man… that you look so much like. He was very… attractive. And he knew how to work it so that women liked him. Kinda like you just did with our waitress,” she said with a quick grin. “I probably would have stared at you even if you didn’t look so much like… somebody else. But I wouldn’t have been speechless,” she added quickly as he started to visibly recover his apparently normal confidence. “I’m way too old to lose my ability to focus just because I see a set of killer cheekbones and pretty blue eyes.” She blushed as she realized how much she’d just given away.

“That would make me a lot happier if I didn’t know you were picturing somebody else’s cheekbones and eyes,” he said with a smile. “But I’ll take what I can get.”

“I’m pretty sure you can ‘get’ whatever you want,” she snorted. “Mr. ‘yummy’ Patterson.”

“Given my current job where teenage girls, their frustrated married mothers, and seriously devoted spinsters are my usual contacts…. inappropriate and illegal offers aside, you’d be surprised how hard it is to get a legitimate date around here.”

Buffy laughed. “So, you’re saying I’m just a default date? Not a teenager, not married, and not a spinster. Yay me.”

He laughed along with her. “I’d be worried about having insulted you if I weren’t confident you have a perfectly good mirror at home that tells you how beautiful you are on a daily basis.”

Buffy smiled her thanks at him and went back to the menu. When she’d made her choice, she glanced up to see him still watching her. Something about the expression on his face sent a chill up her back.

“Mr. Patterson? Bill? What’s wrong?”

He shook himself and blew out a sharp breath. “Honestly? I have no idea. I just suddenly felt like… it’s crazy. It’s nothing. Having a real date is obviously going to my head and I’m losing it.” He smiled at her. “What are you having?”

They placed their orders and ordered another round of drinks while they waited for their food.

“So, let’s get this out of the way,” Bill said. “What is it about Joyce’s life that makes her miss so much school?”

“I have a… an unusual job. Mostly, I can do it here in town where we have a small… um… west coast training facility. But it requires me to travel occasionally. Not really often, but sometimes. And I have to take Joyce with me sometimes. I used to have people I knew I could leave her with, but they’ve moved away. And she’s old enough now to come with me and… contribute.”

“Surely she can do her school work online?”

“Well, sure. Yes… sometimes. But sometimes… we aren’t always where we can get internet – believe it or not. And sometimes we’re… too busy.”

“Joyce is too busy? I thought it was _your_ job that required you to travel?” 

“Well, it’s sort of an… inherited… position. One that… We didn’t realize Joyce was … but now I know she is, and I can’t leave her out of…. just because she’s my daughter.”

“Well, that cleared things up nicely.” His expression didn’t bode well for his cutting Joyce any slack, and Buffy gave him her most charming smile – tinged, more than she realized by a slayer’s intimidating stare. He pulled back and frowned.

“Look. The bottom line is, my daughter has to travel with me when I – we – have jobs to do somewhere else. I had a very hard time keeping up with my high school work because of the job, and I don’t want my daughter to have the same problem keeping her grades up when she works so hard at them.”

“You’ve been doing your job since you were in _high school_?”

The conversation came to a halt as their meals arrived and they began to eat. 

“Okay. This isn’t going well. Like I said, what I do isn’t… it’s something you’re just born to do. And when I was in high school there was only one of me. There were a couple of other girls for a little while, but mostly it was all me. Joyce is lucky. There are lots of…. us… now. So she doesn’t always have to go with me, and I don’t even have to go myself very often, so….”

“You’re a slayer.” His expression was shocked, but his interruption was definitely a statement not a question.

Buffy’s eyes went wide and her face lost all color. “How do you—”

“Don’t go catatonic on me, now. And this has nothing to do with whether or not I would catch fire if the sun was out. I have a niece who said she could have been a slayer.”

“ _Could have been_?”

“She was told she had a choice, and she chose not to take the one that would have taken her away from her family when she was only fourteen. She stayed home, finished school, got married, and had her own kids. But she told me about it once. To be honest, I thought she was putting me on. I listened and nodded, but I really didn’t believe or understand what she was saying.” He frowned. “Although Josie does beat me fairly regularly at arm wrestling. That’s a bit disconcerting…”

Buffy smiled and placed her elbow on the table, hand ready to clasp his in a test of strength. She raised her eyebrows in challenge. He shook his head and sighed. 

“Just my luck. I meet a beautiful woman and she kills things for a living.”

“Actually,” Buffy said, “now I mostly teach younger girls how to kill things. They pay me for that. But every once in a while….”

“Every once in a while you have to go help out… and Joyce goes with you because she’s one too.”

Buffy sighed. “That’s pretty much it. I really wasn’t planning to tell you all that, but since you guessed….” She glanced up at him. “Still think you’re on a real date with an eligible woman?”

He shrugged and finished off his third drink of the night. “Are you married?”

“No.”

“A teeny-bopper?” She just rolled her eyes at him. “Right. Sixteen-year-old-daughter, so not a teenager yourself. A confirmed spinster?”

“I feel like one sometimes, but no. Not a spinster.”

“Well then. I’m calling it a real date with an eligible woman.” He raised his hand for another drink, cocking his head when Buffy frowned. “I have a rather large capacity for alcohol for a man my size,” he said, his voice not as warm as it had been. “And the bartender is much too generous with ice for me to be even feeling it yet. So how about you take that ‘are you a lush?’ look off your face?”

“He drank a lot,” Buffy said without other explanation. “And he drank the same brand you do. And you look a lot like him. Not exactly. Now that I’m seeing more of you, but—” She broke off when he wriggled his eyebrows at her, his “you could see even more of me” more than obvious in the semi-leer.

“Now that! See? That! That’s just like Spike. And you… you’re not him. You can’t be him because I saw him dust. And even if he was somehow brought back… and don’t think I didn’t think of trying it…. he wouldn’t be… you would have to be…” She stopped, putting a hand over her mouth. “Oh God. I’m so sorry. Again. I shouldn’t have… I didn’t mean to dump all that on you.” She raised damp eyes to his. “I think I should just go home. Before I let out any more secrets. You just are too much like him… and not enough him.”

“Please, Buffy. Finish your meal. Have another glass of wine. And please stop apologizing to me! We have an unfortunate situation in which I remind you too much of someone you’ve lost, but I’m your child’s teacher and you will sometimes have to interact with me. I can’t do anything about looking somewhat like your…. this man who meant so much to you. And I can’t do anything about other things I might do that would remind you of him, because I don’t know what they are until I see it in your face.”

He reached for one of her hands again, holding it gently. “But as much as I don’t want to continue causing you pain, I also don’t want to give up a chance to get to know you better. If having secrets you don’t think I should hear is what’s standing in the way of that, just keep them to yourself. I can handle it. For now.” He sighed. “I know what you are – more or less – I know why Joyce may be occasionally absent, I know that I look very much like someone you cared about deeply and that he is dead. I’m guessing he may be Joyce’s father?” 

Buffy slumped in her chair. “He is,” she said, shaking her head, “but I’m pretty sure you aren’t ready for _that_ story. I haven’t even told her yet, although I guess she’s old enough for it now. At least she knows about portals and time dimensions and stuff like that.” 

Bill blinked but didn’t ask for an explanation. “Okay. You’ll tell me when you’re ready. Or when you think I’m ready?” He gave a wry smile when she nodded and smiled back. “I’m guessing you live a pretty exciting life. Do you think you could manage to not be bored to tears dating a middle-aged high school teacher?”

Buffy laughed softly and pulled her hand back. “You have no idea how many times in my life I’ve wished for somebody as normal as a teacher, or doctor, or lawyer, or just about anything but a—” She stopped. “But that’s not my life. Not yet, anyway.”

“Maybe it could be.” 

He frowned at his almost empty glass. “I wonder if I was wrong about how strong these drinks are? I’m not in the habit of suggesting to women I might be just what they’re looking for. Not on a first date, anyway.”

Buffy snorted and bent her head to finish her food. “Maybe I remind you of somebody.”


	2. Chapter Two

**CHAPTER TWO**

“That’s not as funny as you probably meant it to be….”

Buffy looked up and pushed her plate away.

“Don’t,” she said. “Don’t even think about—” She remembered his expression when she’d caught him staring at her. She shook her head vigorously. “No. We’re not going there.”

Ignoring her obvious reluctance, he said, “ I’m not saying you remind me of somebody I used to have in my life. You look nothing like my ex-wife. You _are_ nothing like her. But there’s just something….” He shook his head. “Sorry. I guess it’s my turn to apologize.”

“Ya think?” she said, glaring at him. 

“Is it so terrible? All I’m saying is I feel like… like I’ve known you longer than just today.”

“You don’t know the world I live in, Bill. You don’t know the kinds of things that are possible in that world. And the things that aren’t possible. You… you can’t be Spike. He didn’t dust until… did I mention he was a vampire?” She gave a soft laugh when his eyes went wide. “Why’d you think I wanted to drag you into the sun?” Her laugh was gone as quickly as it came. “Anyway, he dusted long after you were born. You probably would have been…. I don’t know. Somewhere in your 20s, I guess? So if you’re thinking reincarnation, that’s not possible because he wasn’t dead yet when you were born. His soul wasn’t available to go to somebody else. And that would be the only possible explanation. If I believed in reincarnation. Which I don’t. So. Don’t. Start. With. Me. You’re not him, you’re just somebody who kind of looks like him and likes the same brand of booze.”

He held up his hands in surrender. “I could switch to scotch,” he offered helpfully. 

“He drank that too! He just didn’t buy it; he stole it from Giles. And oh my God, it’s just getting worse.”

“Are you through with your meal?” He changed the subject, and Buffy gave him a grateful, if suspicious nod.

“I am. And it’s a school night, so I should…”

He nodded, raising his hand for the check. “You should. And I have papers to grade tonight.”

Buffy kept sipping at her wine, wondering how many glasses she’d had and if it mattered. Bill was quiet as he put money in the check packet. When he’d closed it and put it down on the table, he raised an eyebrow at her. “Ready?”

“Yep.” Before she could push her chair back, he was up and behind her, pulling it out for her. She smiled up at him as she stood.

He kept one hand in the small of her back as he guided her through the tables and to the door. Buffy tried to be annoyed that he thought she couldn’t find her way out, but it felt too good to have a man’s hand on her body, especially one that seemed to have no nefarious designs.

They stood on the sidewalk outside, neither one able to think of anything to say that wasn’t going to be awkward. He rubbed the back of his neck with one hand, giving her a rueful smile.

“So, all things considered, is there any chance you’d like to repeat this sometime? Sometime soon?”

“All things considered, I’m kinda surprised you want to,” she said.

“Yeah. Well. Glutton for punishment is what I am. Always have been.” When Buffy closed her eyes for a moment, he swore and raised his gaze to the stars above them. “I fucking did it again, didn’t I?” He didn’t apologize for his language, just stared at her with a mixture of anger and confusion. 

“I’m—”

“Don’t say it. I’m sorry I’m causing you distress, and you’re sorry you can’t hide that I am. It is what it is, Buffy. Let’s just assume mutual apologies and—”

“Mr. Patterson! How nice to see you? What are you doing here? Were you looking for someplace to eat? I was just on my way in here. I’d be happy to join you for dinner… or drinks. Maybe you’ve already eaten?” 

The breathless girl staring up at Bill hadn’t even noticed Buffy yet. Completely unfazed by his embarrassed expression, she caught her breath and continued.

“You remember me, don’t you? I’m Sally. Sally Jennings from the history department? We met at the teacher meeting at the beginning of the year? I’ve been hoping to find you at lunchtime, but I guess we’re on different shifts. Anyway, isn’t it great that we’re both here in front of the Golden Goose at the same time? And we’re alone, so we can—”

Torn between wondering how many shades of red Bill was capable of turning before he exploded and sympathy for him, Buffy interrupted. She gave Sally her best cheerleader smile. 

“Bill, honey? Is this one of your colleagues? Why don’t you introduce me?” Buffy had managed to take his arm and was clinging to it while she beamed at the surprised girl. She felt him flinch when she first grabbed him, but he was now pressing her hand into his arm with his free hand.

“I’m sorry, baby,” he said smoothly. “I didn’t mean to be rude. Buffy, this is Ms. Jennings. She is one of our newly minted teachers.” 

“How nice to meet you,” Buffy said, keeping Bill’s arm pressed against her side and pretending she didn’t know that her breast was touching his bicep. “It’s a shame you weren’t here earlier, you could have joined us for dinner.”

Sally looked back and forth between them, her dismay evident. “Oh. Hi. I didn’t know he… I mean everybody says he’s….” She summoned up some manners from somewhere and finished, “It’s so nice to meet you. I hope to see you again some time.”

“Oh, I’m sure you will. My daughter goes to your school.”

“Daughter?” The expression on Sally’s face reminded Buffy that, thanks to slayer healing, she looked nothing like her current age. 

“Yes. Joyce Summers? She’s a sophomore.”

“You must have married very young,” Sally said, with narrowed eyes and no indication she was trying to flatter Buffy.

“Oh, I’ve never been married,” Buffy said, giving the girl a look that dared her to keep talking. “And I was quite grown-up when I had Joyce. But thank you,” she finished with a smile. Before Sally could say anything else, Buffy turned to look up at Bill – who’d been taking the whole thing in with a bemused frown on his face. “We should get going. You’ve got those papers to grade, and I’ve got….”

“Yes. Indeed. We have places to go. Things to do. So nice to see you again Ms. Jennings. Enjoy your evening.”

They hurried away, waiting until they had turned a corner to fall against the building laughing. Buffy had released his arm as soon as they were out of sight, but found herself missing the warmth. She noticed him rubbing his bicep and smiled at him. 

“So, are we awful or what?”

“On the contrary. You were magnificent, and I may hire you to follow me around to discourage scenes like that.”

“Does that happen often?”

“Well. No, not quite as… enthusiastically… as that. But you’d be amazed at how bold some of these women can be when they sense weakness. They come right in for the kill.”

“Sense weakness, huh?” Buffy grinned at him. “So you’re not exactly hard to get?”

“No! Yes! I am. I mean, I try to be, but I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, and I really don’t want to make someone angry at me.” He shuddered. “I made that mistake once already. A woman scorned and all that…”

Buffy laughed again. “So do you need me to protect you from all the predatory women you have to work with?”

He shrugged and gave her a smile that made him look like a little boy. “Well, you certainly were amazing back there. I was quite impressed.”

It was Buffy’s turn to shrug. “I went to high school with Cordelia Chase and Harmony Kendall. Professional bitches – both of them. Any time I can’t shut down an amateur like that….”

He laughed with her, then peered out onto the street they’d been on. “I think she’s gone,” he said in a stage whisper. “The coast is clear.”

Buffy joined him on the corner. “Well, we really should be getting home. I’ll just hail a cab—”

“You’ll do no such thing. My car is just over there.” He gestured across the street. “I’ll take you home.”

She paused, then nodded. “Okay.” As they walked to the car, she asked, “Does that make this a real date then? If you drive me home?”

“I hope so,” was the short reply as he opened the door for her.

**XXXXXX**

Buffy gave Bill directions to her home, which turned out to be in the same general direction as his apartment.

“Really?” She tried not to sound overly suspicious, but he laughed at her.

“Really. If I’m going to start lying to you, I’ll make it about something more important than where I live.” He peered sideways at her as he added, “Anyway. I might want you to know how to find me. Wouldn’t be able to do that if I’d steered you in the wrong direction, would you?”

“Point. Okay, so you live near me?”

“On this side of the city,” he replied. “My apartment building is a little closer to downtown. Probably a mile and a bit to the east.”

“Oh. That’s not far.”

“Nope. Not far at all.” 

At Buffy’s direction, he pulled into the driveway of the little bungalow she and Joyce were living in.

“So, we’re here. I mean, I’m here, cause I live here and you’re just giving me a ride home, and…. “ She sighed. “I’m not usually this incoherent when a date brings me home. At least, not that I can remember from back when I actually had dates….”

“Did your—whatever he was—Did he make you incoherent?”

“Spike? No. He was always easy to talk to. Even when we were enemies.”

“Enemies?”

Buffy smiled at him. “Vampire? Vampire slayer?” She shook her head. “Not the best set up for finding the love of your life.”

“Ah. No, I suppose not. But you obviously got over it,” he said, nodding toward the house where Joyce could be seen silhouetted against the light behind the window she was trying to peer out.

“We did. And I guess that’s my signal to go in. Thank you for dinner and the ride home. Sorry for freaking you out with what Joyce and I are.”

“You’re welcome. It’s been a lovely, if somewhat unusual evening.” He reached for her hand before she could open the door. “I would really like to repeat it sometime soon.” He hung on to the hand until she turned back to face him.

“I… I’d like that too. And I promise not to notice when you do or say something… something Spike-ish.”

“And I promise not to… well, I guess I can’t promise not to do it because I don’t seem to know when I am. But I can try to be more like I used to be. Maybe that will help.”

“More like you used to be?”

He shrugged. “I had a serious head injury years ago. According to my family, I’ve been getting more and more different ever since. But all the doctors said I was perfectly fine with just maybe some new personality quirks. ‘Not uncommon,’ they said.” It was his turn to shrug. “I’m not crazy or anything. Just… different.”

Buffy smiled at him as she withdrew her hand. “Well, since I didn’t know you a long time ago, I won’t know or care if you’re different from what you used to be. You didn’t need to tell me that.”

“I just thought… maybe I didn’t used to be so much like… Spike?” He made a face and Buffy glared at him. “Sorry. It’s just not a very…. Forget it. Obviously a nickname, so it’s not like his parents named him that, is it?”

“No,” Buffy said softly. She bit her lip, then raised her eyes to his. “His parents named him…. William.”

“Fuck.” Bill didn’t even look at her as he swore. Just stared straight ahead through the windshield.

“Still want to do this again?” Buffy asked with a wry smile as she opened the door. “Why don’t you think about it for a while?”

He turned his head and studied her face for a few seconds, then nodded. “I don’t need to think about it, but I do need to do some… research. I’ll get in touch with you when I… when we’ve both had time to think about… things.”

Buffy nodded, her smile fading. She’d grown used to being dumped by men who couldn’t handle what she was. She’d been hoping Bill would be different, but it didn’t seem like it.

“Sure,” she said. “That sounds good. Thanks again for a nice evening.” She closed the door and without looking at him again, walked to the door. She felt his eyes on her, but didn’t look back until she was already in the house and closing the door. She took a quick glance at the immobile car and raised her hand in a wave. The horn gave a short toot before the car backed into the street and Bill drove away.

“Well?” Joyce was standing just inside the living room, hands on hips. “Did he kiss you good-night? What were you doing out there for so long?”

“No. We did not kiss. We were… talking.”

“About me?”

“Not so much. Although, I did tell him about us, and he’s fine with you making up assignments if and when you miss one.” At Joyce’s happy smile, she added, “Which doesn’t mean you can blow them off. If you can, you do them when they’re due. Did you finish the one you owe him?”

Joyce nodded and waved her hand. “Never mind that! You told him what we are? About slayers?”

“He kind of guessed. He has a relative… niece or something… who was a potential, but turned us down when she was recruited. Of course, he thought she was making it up until tonight.”

“So, are you going to see him again?”

Buffy sighed. “I have no idea. I think he’s a little freaked out right now… and so am I, to tell you the truth.”

Joyce raised her eyebrows. 

Buffy sighed again and shook her head. “I think it’s time to tell you some stuff… probably should have done it before, but…. Anyway. Not tonight. But tomorrow after school. We’ll talk about your… your father.”

“Seriously, Mom? And you think I’m going to be able to sleep tonight? Or pay attention in school tomorrow?”

“Trust me. You’ll do better thinking about it now than you will once you know it. Tomorrow’s not a school night, so it won’t matter if you’re wound up the whole weekend.”

“This is so not fair!”

“Life’s not fair. Get used to it. And go to bed.”

“Boy, if I’d known going out with my good-looking teacher was going to make you so grumpy, I wouldn’t have let you go!” Joyce flounced past Buffy and up the stairs to her room.

“If I’d known he was going to remind me so much of Spike, I wouldn’t have gone,” Buffy muttered to herself as she went into the kitchen and began checking doors and turning off lights. She sent a text message to the woman who supervised the small group of slayers currently in residence for advanced training, telling her she wouldn’t be in the next day and to have the girls work on their normal school stuff.


	3. Chapter Three

Buffy muttered to herself as she went into the kitchen and began checking doors and turning off lights. She sent a text message to the woman who supervised the small group of slayers currently in residence for advanced training, telling her she wouldn’t be in the next day and to have the girls work on their normal school stuff.

 

**CHAPTER THREE**

While Joyce was at school, Buffy spent the day alternately smiling and sniffling as she went through a box of memorabilia from under her bed. Mixed in with photos from Sunnydale were several sepia-toned pictures of Spike in period clothing, most taken shortly after he was turned. There were a couple of him taken at intervals of decades, ending with one of the punkish Spike she’d met when she was sixteen. She left the ones with Drusilla, Darla, and Angelus in the box, but took out a few of the ones of Spike by himself and added them to the small stack of photos from their years together. There was one of Spike in the shadow of the Magic Box door, just the glowing tip of his cigarette visible behind her and her friends. And a few, all taken indoors with a flash, were of them at various Scooby events. The last one, of just Spike, had been taken the afternoon of the night he dusted. He was looking up from the newspaper and smiling at her with that soft look she was pretty sure no one else ever got to see.

She blew out a deep breath and wiped her damp eyes. “I really need to scan these in and store them someplace safer than under my bed.” She put the box back, stood up and said, “All right, Joyce. It’s time you learned who your father was, and that he was a hero. More than once.”

XXXXXXXXX

When Joyce got home, having obviously run most of the way, she found Buffy sitting quietly in the living room, a small group of photos in front of her. Panting slightly from her run, she sank into a chair.

“Are those pictures of my father?” Joyce eyed them hungrily, but refrained from reaching for them.

Buffy nodded, putting her hand over the pictures. “Yes. But before I show them to you, I have to tell you the story of Buffy and Spike.” 

“Spike?” Joyce frowned. “Isn’t he some old vampire that used to hang out with some old famous ones? Was he somebody you used to know?”

Buffy snorted a laugh. “Well, that’s one description, I guess. Maybe I’ve tried too hard to protect you from things you should know. One of which is that William the Bloody – aka Spike – was an important part of that gang of famous vamps. ‘The Fanged Four’ or ‘The Scourge of Europe’ are some of the things they’ve been called. Angelus, his sire Darla, his childe Drusilla, and her childe… Spike.”

“Wow.” Joyce looked more dubious than impressed. “Why would you have anything to do with him? They were pretty bad-ass, weren’t they?”

Buffy sighed, remembering she was going to have to bring Angel into the discussion. “It’s complicated. Let me start at the beginning, and just save your questions, okay?”

Joyce’s lower lip came out, but she nodded. 

“So, when I was called and we moved to Sunnydale….” It was almost an hour later when Buffy got to the part where Spike was dusted by a random apocalypse-type demon after years of their being together – whenever one of them wasn’t temporarily dead.

“So, how does a pile of dust—” At Buffy’s expression, she hastily added, “Dust that was the love of your life and that you’d been with forever. I get that. But, if he was dust, how did he… and even if he wasn’t… I thought vampires couldn’t… didn’t have…” She stopped, blushing at how close she was coming to discussing sex with her mother. Ignoring Joyce’s obvious lack of interest in hearing details, Buffy responded by explaining the gift of a full day and night with adult William before he was turned that the Powers had granted her.

“It was magic. In the sense that it took a magically opened portal to take me to him, but you were conceived in the usual way. And I had no idea. I didn’t go there to make a baby, I just wanted to… to be able to hold him one more time and say good-bye. Even if he didn’t realize that’s what I was doing. Which I think he did. Your father was always pretty perceptive, even when he was a young human man. He knew me. He always knew me.” Buffy’s expression managed to be proud and sad at the same time.

Joyce was quiet for several minutes, slumped in her chair and chewing her lip. She finally raised her eyes to Buffy’s and said, “So you _did_ love my father. You didn’t just make that up to make me feel better about not having one?”

“Oh my God, yes. I’ve told you that over and over.”

“I know, but you never could tell me enough about him to make me think it was real. No pictures, no letters, no… no nothing.”

Buffy silently slid the photos across the table to her, watching silently while Joyce went through them one at a time. She could tell by her wide eyes when Joyce got to the one of Spike in his punk days, and then as a young vampire, with his light brown curly hair and less hard-edged look. Joyce’s gaze flew up to Buffy.

“He looks just like—Ohmygod, ohmygod. Mr. Patterson is my father!”

“Mr. Patterson is a man who wasn’t even a gleam in his grandfather’s eye when that picture was taken. He is not your father! “ Buffy lowered her voice. “But he does look a lot like him. They say everybody has a twin somewhere. I guess your English teacher is Spike’s.”

“Oh. My. God.” Joyce sat there, staring at the spread-out photos and looking stunned. She picked up one of Buffy and Spike that had been taken at a party of some sort. Buffy was on Spike’s lap and they were laughing together. “Can I… could we make a copy of this one?”

“Oh absolutely. We need to scan and make copies of all of them. I can’t believe all these years it never occurred to me to do that. Go ahead, do it now and save them to your tablet and mine. And send them to Willow too. She’ll make sure they’re archived somewhere.”

As Joyce stood up, Buffy’s phone rang. She took it from her pocket and frowned. “I don’t recognize this number….” She blinked when Bill’s face showed up, then vanished.

“I gave him your phone number and email address today,” Joyce said. “He asked for contact info, and the school would have it anyway, so I just gave it to him.” She peered at Buffy’s shocked expression. “Are you gonna answer it?”

The ringing had stopped by the time Buffy got around to nodding, but she immediately pressed the call back option and he was back on her screen smiling at her.

“Buffy?”

“H… hi, Bill. Sorry about that. It took me a while to answer.”

“No worries. I just wanted to talk to you.” He paused. “And I have something I want to show you…”

“What?” Buffy stared at the photos in Joyce’s hand and bit her lip. “I might have something to show you too. Just so you don’t think I’m crazy…”

“Ditto,” he said with a laugh. “I’m going to send a few old scanned pictures to you. Okay?”

Buffy waved Joyce toward the scanner and made hurry-up motions. “Sure, that’s fine. I might have some to send you too.”

“Here goes. This is my…. I don’t even know. It’s an old photo from the Pratt side of the—what’s wrong?” 

Buffy hadn’t been able to muffle her “Oh God” at hearing Spike’s last name. “No-nothing,” she said. “Please go on.”

Sounding dubious, he continued. “So, this is some old relative of mine. Like a great, great uncle or something. These are the only pictures my cousins in the UK have. It seems he died young, as so many people did back then.”

Buffy stared at her phone, where an almost exact duplicate of the photo Joyce was currently scanning was staring back at her. Except that the William Pratt in this photo was clearly human and uncomfortable about being photographed.

“He looks a lot like me, doesn’t he?”

“He does. He also looks a lot like… hold on, I’m sending you a photo.” Buffy brought up the picture Joyce had just sent her of vamp-Spike, and sent it to Bill. There was a long silence during which she could hear him breathing. Unable to contain herself, she said, “Bill? Do you think it’s the same man?”

“Sorry, Buffy. I’m just… I don’t even know. It’s just so weird. And yes, I do think it’s the same… person. Just taken a few years apart, I’d guess.” He took an audible deep breath. “So, is he a vampire in that picture?”

“Oh yeah. Drusilla’s childe, part of the Scourge of Europe with his sire and Angelus and Darla. Pretty scary bunch for a long time.”

“What happened to them?” 

“Oh, well, that gets… you probably don’t want to hear that it’s complicated, do you?”

“Not even a little bit.”

“’K, well, long story short, Angelus got cursed with a soul and ended up leaving them – or getting kicked out, depends of if you believe Angel or Spike – anyway, he left, then Darla left, and Spike and Dru went all over the place by themselves until she got almost killed by a mob in Prague and he came to Sunnydale to find a way to heal her.”

“Sunnydale?”

“Uh, yeah. Town to the south of here. Over a Hellmouth. It’s where I was living at the time.”

“I’m guessing there’s more to it than that.”

“Well, yes. But I just finished telling Joyce all about the history so she would understand about her father, and I’m really not up for more explaining right now. Especially to someone who would need to have _everything_ explained. At least with Joyce, I can just say ‘magic’ and ‘portal’ and ‘demon’, and she knows what I’m talking about.”

“I can see that. I’m still working on ‘Hellmouth’ and Sunnydale, which – I googled it – seems to have… vanished? In an earthquake?”

“That was Spike,” Buffy said proudly. “Saving the world with me… again.”

Joyce had come back into the room with the photos, and set them down on the table. 

“So, Mr. Patterson and I are related somehow?” She grinned when Buffy tried to shush her, but it was too late.

“Oh Jesus. She’s right. Her father is my…. great, great something or other. Uncle, I guess?”

“Hey, Cuz!” Joyce shouted into the phone, giggling when his groan was more than audible.

“You _will_ explain to her that she can’t call me that at school, won’t you?” he pleaded with Buffy. She smiled at his anguished face, which had replaced the photos on her screen. 

“I think she knows better, but I’ll make sure she understands there will be consequences if she does anything stupid around you.” Buffy gave a still-giggling Joyce a glare to emphasize her words.

“Are there more pictures?” she asked suddenly. Buffy nodded and pointed upstairs. “Box under my bed. Help yourself, but scan them in before you take them anywhere. Some of them belonged to Spike, and I don’t want them lost.”

Joyce left the room, taking the stairs three at a time, and leaving Buffy to lean back and sigh. Bill’s expression was sympathetic.

“How did it go?” 

“Better than it could have, I guess. I mean, thank God she’s a slayer and understands this world, so she didn’t get upset or angry that he was dead. It happens and she knows that. She’s not too happy that I waited this long to tell her about him. Turns out she thought I was lying all this time, and that it was just some one-night stand. When she gets over being mad about that, I think she’ll be happy to know her parents loved each other.”

“Must have been rough,” he said. “I’m sorry you had to do that because of me.”

Buffy shook her head. “I should have done it years ago. As soon as she was old enough to know the facts of life… and death. She probably would have been able to understand it a long time ago.” She smiled at him again. “This parenting thing is hard sometimes.”

“I’m sure it is. But everyone seems to get it right most of the time.”

“Well, cat’s out of the bag now… and hey, she’s got a cousin in her life.”

He groaned again. “I guess she does. Anyway, at least now we have some sort of explanation for why I look so much like him. Just the genes arranging themselves in similar ways several generations apart.”

“Yep. That explains it.” They stared at each other through the phones. 

“So now what? Are you still available for dating, or am I off the list because of the man I’m related to?”

“Well, first I’d have to have a list… which as you well know, I don’t. And second of all… I don’t know. I guess it should feel weird, but it’s not like you’re related to me, just to my daughter.” She waited, but he didn’t say anything. “What do you want to do?”

“I want to get to know you better. All the ways I can. But I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. And I can understand why it might seem… odd… to be dating the great nephew of your former lover…husband…boyfriend?”

“Let’s just call him my partner. That’s what he was for years. We never got around to the wedding because – Uh… I don’t think you don’t need to know about vampire claiming rituals, so never mind that. We _felt_ married, and we were always busy and just expected we’d have time to do it later. I never thought much about it until I had Joyce. And by then it was too late.”

“All right. So my great, great was your partner. Is that going to be too weird for you to have dinner with me again tomorrow night?”

Buffy hesitated long enough that she could see his expression change from hopeful to disappointed, then quickly answered. “I’d love to.” She smiled to emphasize her sincerity. 

“Oh good!” He grinned in relief. “I was afraid I’d be reduced to having to stalk you or something.” 

Buffy was quite proud of the way she controlled her expression as she replied, “Probably not a good idea to stalk someone who can kill you with one punch.”

“And with that reminder of how very much you are _not_ like anyone I’ve ever met before, I’ll just let you get back to whatever you were doing.”

“I suspect I’m going to be explaining people and places to my daughter most of the night,” she said with a sigh. “But I promise to try to get enough sleep not to be baggy-eyed and cranky tomorrow.”

He laughed. “Don’t care if you are,” he said. “I’ll pick you up around 6:30? We’ll go someplace casual where we can talk.”

“Okay. See you then.”

“Goodnight, Buffy.”

“Goodnight, Bill.”


	4. Chapter Four

**CHAPTER FOUR**

 

“So, you’re going out with my… whatever he is… tonight?”

“He’s some sort of cousin. But it’s very distant, so….”

“It’s still weird… and gross. My mother is dating my cousin who is related to my dad, who’s dead, and….” Joyce shuddered. “I’m not sure my psyche is ready for this.”

“You’ll live,” Buffy said. “Although you might not want to share all that information with your friends… it’s too hard to explain.”

“Oh trust me! It’s hard enough listening to them drooling over him, the last thing I want them to know is that I’m related to him.”

“All right. Will you be okay here by yourself? No boys in the house, but you can have girlfriends over if you want.”

“I’ll be fine. Super powers, remember? Who’s going to give me a hard time?”

“Anybody who doesn’t know you have super powers,” Buffy pointed out. “Which is everybody, right?”

“Right. Right. I haven’t picked up anything I shouldn’t since the car incident. And I convinced everybody they were hallucinating.”

They both turned as there was a knock on the door. “I’ll get it.” Joyce ran to the door, throwing it open. “Cuz!” she said, giggling at her own humor.

“That isn’t going to go away, is it?” Bill said with a sigh.

“Nope! At least not until it stops being fun.” Joyce beamed at him, and he reluctantly smiled back at her, noticing for the first time that her eyes were the same shade of blue as his own, and that she had the same defined cheekbones. 

“Damn,” he whispered before turning to Buffy. “Am I imaging things?”

Buffy shook her head. “No. But it makes sense. She has always had some of her father’s features, and you look a lot like him, so….”

“Do we look alike?” Joyce grabbed Bill by the arm and dragged him to a nearby mirror. Standing side by side, the resemblance was very noticeable. “Wow. You could be my father.”

“But I’m not,” he said, gently disengaging her hand from his arm. “And you can’t behave like this at school. I’ll get fired and you’ll be… well who knows?”

“Oh I know. I’m not a complete idiot. At school you’re Mr. Patterson, sir. But if anybody notices how much we look alike….”

He groaned, echoed by Buffy. “I guess we’d better do our best to not stand side by side if we can avoid it. Maybe nobody will notice if we’re never together.” He studied her slender build and long blond hair. “You look a good bit like your mother, as well.”

“Uh huh.” Joyce didn’t sound convinced, but she moved away from him. “I hope you guys enjoy your dinner. I’m having pizza….”

“You asked for pizza!” Buffy said, hands on hips. Joyce just laughed and walked into the kitchen. 

“Have fun, kids. And be good.” She suddenly appeared back in the doorway. “And I _do_ mean ‘be good’! I don’t want to be grossed out because my mom is—”

“Finish that sentence and you will never leave the house again.” Buffy’s expression showed that she was very serious and Joyce rolled her eyes as she retreated to the kitchen. 

“I was just saying….” Her voice floated back to them as she put a safe distance between herself and Buffy.

Who was bright red and refusing to meet Bill’s amused gaze. “I apologize for my daughter’s appalling behavior,” she said. “I don’t know who she gets that from.”

He just laughed and put an arm around her briefly. “Probably from ‘Uncle Spike’” he said. “Don’t worry about it. As long as she keeps her mouth shut at school, it’ll be fine.”

“Damn good thing she’s a slayer and used to keeping secrets,” Buffy grumbled as they walked out the door. 

 

**XXXXXX**

 

True to his word, Bill took her to a brewpub where the food was good, the beer cold, and dress was casual.

Buffy pushed her plate of ribs away, and covered her mouth for a ladylike burp. “Oh my gosh. Excuse me!”

He laughed and shook his head. “It’s nice to see someone enjoying their food.”

Buffy flushed, but smiled. “Well, I don’t eat as much as I used to, but slayers burn a lot of calories just existing, so I can put it away when it’s good. And that was. Good, I mean.”

“It’s been nice, hasn’t it?” It was a serious question, as he’d obviously been working very hard all night to concentrate on making it a good date and not an inquisition about her life. Buffy smiled her gratitude at him.

“It has. Very nice. Thank you.” 

He understood immediately what she was thanking him for. “You’re welcome. It’s not like my curiosity has taken a vacation, but I did lock it up for a while. I’ll let it out when I’ve overwhelmed you with my charm and ability to have fun.”

“Consider me whelmed,” she responded. “Maybe even overwhelmed… we’ll see how the rest of the night goes.”

“Now that’s a challenge if I ever heard one….”

Buffy giggled and tipped her beer at him. “It wasn’t meant to be…. but feel free to charm and fun me.”

 

**XXXXXX**

“So”, he said as they made their way back to his car. “Are you charmed and funned enough to answer a few questions?”

Buffy sighed. “I guess I can try. And if I can’t, I can give you some websites to access to learn more about my world.”

“It’s on the Internet?”

“Well, not exactly. You have to follow some links, and have a few passwords, but if I show you how, you’ll have access to the Slayer and Watcher’s Council’s information page. It’s probably something your niece was given to look at when they tried to recruit her. It’s easier for most people to understand if they can read and then reread the parts that sound… crazy.”

“Okay, first question. Is it hard to get girls to sign up when you find them?”

Buffy shrugged. “Honestly? Not very often. By the time they get their powers, most potential slayers already know they have a high energy level, are very athletic, and need lots of exercise. I guess girls who aren’t like that, would be the ones to turn us down. Most of them are pretty happy to find out there’s a reason they’re so strong and fast… and feisty.”

“Feisty?” He stopped and stared at her.

“Well, that sounds better than prone to violence, doesn’t it?”

“I guess that explains why Josie turned you down. She’s a very gentle person, and abhors violence.”

“Yeah. Definitely not slayer material.”

“So, Josie seems pretty normal – has kids and stuff. What happens to slayers who don’t join up?”

Buffy made a face. “That makes it sound like some kind of a cult.” 

“Sorry. Question still stands, though. Is she going to have problems some day?”

Buffy shrugged. “Not that I’m aware of. Not everybody gets the whole package, it seems. The ones who don’t come into training don’t develop any more. They stay strong and fast, but they don’t feel any need to go around saving people, and they can’t recognize vampires when they see them. They just lead regular lives, maybe a little healthier and faster-healing than they might have been, but with nothing that’s going to draw attention to them.” She frowned. “I don’t know what would happen if they felt threatened, though… or thought their kids were in danger… Hmmmmm. I should have somebody look into that.”

“What changed? You said you were the only slayer when you were in high school, how did the rest of them get here?”

“They were always here, but they were just potentials unless or until they were called. As long as I was alive – or Kendra, and then Faith – they would just age out of the window for being called and live out their lives, never knowing about it in some cases.” 

Buffy slowed down and frowned at the small group of men near the car. Bill rested one hand casually on her shoulder and leaned in to whisper, “Should we be in fight or flight mode?” She shook her head. “I can’t decide. We’re not close enough for me to feel if they’re vamps, and if they’re human, I’d rather not have to kick their butts in a public place.”

Bill rolled his shoulders in a way that gave her another unpleasant twinge. “I probably should have told you about my hobby,” he said, staring at the young men who had noticed them by now.

“Which is?” Buffy sighed and resigned herself to having to fight something.

“I spend three nights a week at a dojo – teaching self-defense and Aikido.”

“Fine,” she said. “I could use the exercise. But if they’re vamps….”

“If they’re vampires, I’m getting behind you and screaming for help.”

She laughed and started toward the car again. “Okay.” As they neared the car, parked in a less than well-lit area, she said, “Bingo! Start screaming.”

She took a stake from her purse before tossing it on the ground in back of her. Although Bill did get slightly behind her (and to her left, she tried not to notice), he didn’t scream but eyed the men warily. 

“Dinner is served,” the closest vamp said, allowing his game face out.

“Dinner is pissed off that you’re ruining her date,” Buffy replied, leaping over him and running her stake through his back. She had time to bring another one to his knees with a kick, before the remaining two leapt at her together.

“Well, that’s not fair!” she grunted, ducking just in time for them to run into each other. Her hand moving too fast for even their vampire sight, she staked them both and turned to look for the one she’d kicked. 

She found him, favoring his bad leg but facing off against Bill, who was doing his visible best not to be intimidated by the yellow eyes and fangs of his opponent. When the vampire jumped him, he dropped, flipping it over his head and into another car, setting off the alarm. Before the vamp could gain his feet and conquer his spinning head, Buffy walked over and punched him. She looked at Bill and held out her stake – pointing at the unconscious vampire. 

“Do you want to do the honors?” 

He raised his eyebrows, but took the stake. “Where do I put it?” 

“Right through his heart. You’ll have to push hard.”

He nodded and bent down, putting his entire weight behind his blow. He remained bent over, holding himself up with one hand while he stared at the dust now blowing away in the slight breeze.

“Well,” he said finally as he stood up and handed the stake back to Buffy. “That was…. an education. Does that happen often?”

“Not really. We’re not on a hellmouth here, and almost every major city has at least a few slayers. Vamps are kind of an endangered species now, to be honest. I can’t remember the last time I saw more than one or two at the same time.”

She picked up her purse and stood by the car door, waiting for him to open it.

“She takes care of four monsters by herself, and now she wants me to open a car door for her,” he said, his smirk giving away how not serious he was. He opened the door and waited for her to get in. She paused and looked at him, holding out the stake. “I didn’t do it by myself,” she said. “And here. Why don’t you keep this? As a souvenir?”

He took the stake without comment, waiting until she was comfortably inside the car before closing the door. He walked around to the driver’s side and got in, tossing the stake into the back before turning on the engine. 

“Guess we’d best get out of here before everyone comes running to see what set off that car alarm.”

“Too late.” Buffy put her window down and beamed at the restaurant staff running toward them. “Hi. It’s that red car over there,” she said, pointing. “Some guys were fighting and one of them fell on to the car’s hood. I guess they ran away when the alarm started. We were just trying to stay locked in and inconspicuous until it was safe to drive off.”

“Okay, thanks,” the first man said, turning to face the crowd. “It’s nothing folks. If it’s not your car, just go back inside. I don’t think there’s any damage, but you should probably check it out in daylight,” he added to the man standing beside him. He waved at Buffy as she raised a questioning eyebrow and made driving away motions, and Bill immediately pulled away from the scene.

“We didn’t do anything wrong. Why do I feel like I’m sneaking away from a crime scene?”

“Welcome to my world,” Buffy said with a wry twist to her mouth. “Trust me. You don’t want to have to explain how the guys you were fighting went poof. It never goes well.”

“I guess there’s still a lot about your life I don’t know,” he said as he nosed out into traffic. “Maybe we can find a quiet place to have an after dinner drink and you can fill me in more?”

“I think I’ve had all the alcohol I need for one night,” Buffy said, then added quickly when she saw his face fall, “but we can go back to my house and have something there. I don’t keep a lot of booze around, but I might have some beer in the fridge.”

He smiled. “That sounds nice. Although I am trying to take you on dates that will take your mind off….” His voice trailed off. “I guess that’s not possible, is it?”

“I don't know,” she replied. “It’s not like I’ve had a lot of dates in the past ten…. or twenty years. But I promise you they don’t always end with staking vampires in a parking lot.”

“Really?” He perked up for a few seconds.

“Really. Sometimes it’s a Fyarl demon, or a world-ending apocalypse, or a…” She giggled as his expression went from happy to shocked to annoyed.

“Very funny.”

“I’m sorry. But my life really isn’t one life-threatening event after another. Not anymore. You just got lucky tonight.”

"Lucky me."


	5. Chapter Five

**CHAPTER FIVE**

 

Buffy was quiet until they reached her house, then said, “If that really freaked you out and you don’t want to—I’ll understand. It’s okay.”

He pulled into her driveway and shut off the engine, staring straight ahead over the steering wheel. “I get the feeling you’ve had way too many dates that ended with the guy running away.” He turned to face her. “I don’t want to be one of them, Buffy. I like you. Aside from being beautiful, you’re funny and bright, and I want to spend more time with you. But I’d also like to know what I’m getting into. Is that fair?”

She sighed. “It’s very fair. Just not something that usually goes well for me.” She glanced away for a moment, then back to look at him from the corner of her eyes. “But hey, you’re Spike’s… something or other… so you’re probably made of tougher stuff than most men.” She met his gaze full on and smiled. “I’m game if you are. What’s the worst that could happen? You’ll get freaked out and think I’m some kind of madwoman. Or, you’ll hang around and learn to hate me because of what I am and what that means sometimes.”

He raised a tentative hand and cupped her cheek in a gesture so familiar it almost brought tears to her eyes. “I don’t know if I’ve ever been so ‘game’ for anything. And I can’t imagine hating you.”

“Wait till you get to know me better,” she said, holding his hand to her cheek until she realized what she was doing and let go. “Sorry,” she mumbled.

“Don’t be. It was fine. I touched you first.”

“You did,” she said with a smile. “It was… nice.”

He wiggled his eyebrows at her, saying with mock lasciviousness, “I can do better than ‘nice’.”

She laughed and opened her door. “I’ll just be you can,” she said as she got out. “Are you coming in?”

“I certainly am. And even if I wasn’t, I’d be walking you to the door and trying for a goodnight kiss.” He was out his door and by her side before she’d even moved away from the car. 

They walked to the door of the house in companionable silence, stopping abruptly when it was thrown open.

“You’re back too early!” Joyce said. “Did you have a fight? Did something go wrong?”

Buffy shrugged and glanced at Bill who shrugged back. 

“Not really. But I had to stake some vamps in the parking lot, and it kind of spoiled the mood for a while. We just decided to talk about slayer stuff here instead of in a bar.”

“Oh. Well, that’s good, I guess. I’ll just be up in my room watching a movie.”

With that, Joyce whirled and ran up the stairs.

“Well. I’m not sure if I should be flattered that she wants to give you time alone with me, or offended that she doesn’t want to have to make conversation with her English teacher.”

Buffy laughed. “If I knew, I’d tell you. I just chalk hard-to-explain behaviors up to being a teen-ager and wait for them to go away.”

“A very reasonable attitude,” he agreed. “You’d make a good school teacher.”

Buffy shuddered. “Been there – sort of. I was a high school counselor for part of the year when my sister Dawn was in high school.”

“You were?” When she raised her eyebrows at him, he said, “I didn’t mean to imply that you… I mean I really don’t know, do I? You could have a PhD for all I know….”

“It’s all right. Your instincts are good. I don’t have any credentials or training – and I never finished college. But Sunnydale, especially that last year when things started falling apart… if you needed somebody for a job and you had a warm body – emphasis on ‘warm’ – you took them. The principal thought I did a good job of handling a… an incident… and he asked me to fill in as counselor.”

“You said ‘that last year’, you mean the one just before Sunnydale was destroyed?”

“That’s the one. What would you like to drink?”

“Not ready to discuss it yet. Check. I’ll have a beer if you’ve got one, otherwise, whatever you want to serve me.”

Buffy peered into the refrigerator and made a sound of approval. “Here we go. There’s one more in there and then you’re out of luck.”

“Out of beer,” he said, taking it from her with a smile. “Not out of luck.” His expression made his meaning clear, and Buffy blushed her appreciation as she popped the top on her Diet Coke.

“If nothing else, you’re going to be good for my ego,” she said, in acknowledgement of the implied compliment. 

“I try. So….” He followed her back into the living room and settled at one end of the sofa. “….no questions about Sunnydale. Why don’t you ask me questions?”

“I can do that. Let me see… I’ll try not to get too personal. How about, where did you go to school? Did you plan to be a teacher?”

“Well, I presume you don’t mean high school – although it’s not very far away from here. I went to USC for my undergrad and to Stanford for my masters. Years apart, by the way. And no, I didn’t plan to be a teacher. My dad wanted me to go into business with him, so I majored in business with a minor in English Lit.” He paused. “I worked for him for a few years, got married to my college girlfriend, tried different aspects of the business, didn’t like any of them. It was… okay… but I was bored and decided to take a break.”

Buffy waited expectantly as he stared at nothing for a few moments. When he didn’t continue, she said, “So you took a break, and…?” He gave himself a little shake and gave her a rueful look.

“I told my wife I needed to find myself, bought a motorcycle, and took a trip up the coast. It was going really well until I got close to the Canadian border and a deer that I’m pretty sure had a moose for a father—” He paused to grin at his own exaggeration. “Anyway, a very large deer jumped out in front of me and we both flew up into the air.” He paused again. “Gotta give credit to the helmet I always hated to wear. It saved my life. Barely. I woke up a month later, in a hospital bed with my mother crying in a chair beside me. They’d had to bring me back to life at least once, so I wasn’t really expected to wake up. Seems I’d cracked my skull pretty hard and been in a coma since the accident. Which probably was just as well, given how many broken bones I had too. At least I missed most of that pain.”

He gave himself a small shake and smiled at her. “Anyway, skipping over rehab and PT and the almost full year it took me to feel like myself again, it was like I was starting all over. I’d done so much reading when I was on the mend that I realized where my true passion lay, and I decided to get a masters in English. Which doesn’t exactly lend itself to lucrative paid positions, so I ended up teaching and found I’m pretty good at it. My wife didn’t think much of it though, so she divorced me for ‘not being the same man she married’.”

“Wow. You were really lucky. I mean, not the getting divorced part, but surviving that accident.”

“I’m sure you’ve had injuries that were just as hair-raising,” he said, blinking when she gave a wry laugh, then coughed until she was red in the face. “Something I should know?” he asked.

Buffy shook her head. “Nope. Definitely not something you need to know. But to answer your not-quite-a-question, yes, I’ve had some pretty serious injuries. It’s part of the job, and why we come with rapid healing and high pain thresholds.”

“Interesting, if a bit… scary. Not that I’m frightened!” he hastened to add. “Not me. Nope. Not even a little bit.” He sighed. “You’ll let me know when I say things that make it sound like I want to bail on you, won’t you?”

“If you promise to be honest with me if or when you’re thinking about it, I won’t have to, will I?” She challenged him with her eyes, trying to keep her expression blank. 

“That’s true, I guess. Okay. Let’s make a deal. I promise to tell you upfront if I’m thinking I need to find somebody less….”

“Scary?” Buffy offered, forcing a smile.

“I was going to say, less intriguing and complicated,” he almost growled as he shook his head. “Where was I? Oh yeah, I promise to tell you if that’s what I’m thinking about doing, and you promise not to assume it _is_ what I’m thinking every time I seem taken back by something that you have to admit is a little out of the ordinary.”

“Oh…” Buffy shut her eyes briefly. “That’s pretty much what I’ve been doing, isn’t it?” She sighed, knowing he was right. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. I was just—”

“You were just trying to protect yourself from being hurt… again… I’m guessing. I get that. I do. But I’m not like those other fools who didn't see the amazing woman beneath the Slayer, and I’m not going to let myself be frightened away by the fact that she could break me in half.” He smiled at her until she relaxed and smiled back. “Now, do we have a deal?” He held out his hand and after a moment’s hesitation, Buffy took it.

“We do.” They held the handshake, Bill gradually increasing the pressure until Buffy began to squeeze back. With a laugh, he raised her hand to his lips and kissed it. 

“Was that a test?” She glared at him and took her tingling hand back.

“Not really. I just was curious what you’d do. If you’d pretend you couldn’t match me.”

She shook her head. “A long time ago, I probably would have. I would have thought I had to protect your ego. Not anymore. I am who I am. Take me or leave me.”

“I’m guessing that’s not quite the invitation it sounded like,” he said with a wistful leer.

“No. Not quite, anyway.” She smirked at his hopeful expression. “Weren’t we talking about you?”

“We were,” he sighed, sinking back on the couch. “Although I’ve forgotten where I was.”

“You were getting over your accident, and deciding to get a masters in English, which led to teaching, which led to…?”

“Ah. Well, which led to not much. I’ve been working at the same school for the past five years, worked in a different city for ten years before that. I came back here to work because my father had died and I wanted to be where I could keep an eye on my mother… and I write a little in my spare time. I don’t make a lot of money, but then, I don’t need much.” He grimaced. “I’d like to convince my mother of that. She’s sure I’m starving, and she’s always giving me stuff. I won’t take money from her, so she gives me gift cards by the barrelful.”

“Feel free to share,” Buffy said, her smile letting him know she was kidding. “If there are any for shoe stores you can’t use…” 

“Shoes. Duly noted. So, what else do you want to know about me? That wreck was pretty much the highlight event of my life up to this point.”

“I’m not sure I’d call it a highlight, but I know what you mean. Let’s see… you write a little? Like what?”

He squirmed uncomfortably. “Did I say that? I didn’t mean to. I mean…you know… English major, so I dabble in poetry. Nothing publishable, trust me.”

Buffy tried to school her face into a blank mask, but she’d obviously failed.

“Buffy? Now what? Don’t tell me your ex wrote poetry?”

She gave a weak smile. “Not saying a word.” With a quick subject change, she asked, “How long have you done martial arts? Didn’t you say you work at a dojo?”

“Ah, that’s one of those things that was different after the accident. I’d never been very interested in physical stuff – team sports or things like that. But after rehab and PT I was used to using my body and making it do things for me, so I looked around for something to do that was pretty intense but not a team sport, and I came up with Aikido. Turns out I have a talent for it, and I try not to miss more than a day or so at a time.”

“I’ll have to come watch you sometime.”

“I’d like that. You might want to work out with us… not sparring, obviously, but just running through the katas.”

“You don’t want to spar with me?” She blinked innocently, a smile twitching her lips.

“I’m not a complete idiot,” he laughed. “You’d clean my clock and then none of my students would listen to a word I said from now on.”

“Probably true,” she sighed. “But Joyce could use some practice when we don’t have any trainees here. Maybe she and I could work out there sometimes?”

“We can probably find a way to do that. The owner pretty much lets me do whatever I want as long as I cover my classes. Which I have to do tomorrow,” he added, looking at his watch. “As much as I’d like to stay here longer, I have to get up before dawn tomorrow to open the studio.”

“Then you should probably go,” she said, noting that he hadn’t made any move to actually get up, but only had moved a little closer to her. 

“I should.” He stared at her. “I really should.” 

Buffy stared back, her mouth suddenly dry. Without either of them saying another word, they moved together to share a tentative kiss. Bill’s lips, while warm, felt so much like Spike’s Buffy almost gasped. When she didn’t pull away, the tentative kiss became more exploratory and intense. Still touching nowhere but at their mouths, they groaned simultaneously, startling them both into pulling away.

“That was….”

“Dammed right it was.” 

He pulled her closer, and began another kiss, this one not even remotely tentative. Buffy’s head was spinning, even as she put her arms around his neck and allowed him to pull her onto his lap. No one had kissed her like this in almost twenty years. Visions of Spike and William swept through her mind as she fell into the kisses. Not until Bill’s hand slid under her shirt to caress the bare skin on her back did she come back to herself and realize what she was doing. With a small whimper, she pulled her mouth away and took a deep breath, letting her head hang against his chest.

For several seconds they remained still, her on his lap, his hand now on her waist as they both recovered their normal breathing. She raised her head to speak at the same time he did.

“I’m sorry.” “I’m sorry,” they said together, then laughed.

“Okay, let’s be honest. I’m not even close to being sorry about that. Any of it. I feel like I’ve been kissing you forever, and at the same time, like I just discovered something wonderful. But I shouldn’t have—”

“Not your fault. I was all over you. And I _am_ sorry. Not that I don’t want to kiss you, but I want to know I’m kissing you, not imaging you’re… somebody else.”

“Is that what happened?” He released his hold on her and allowed her to move off his legs and onto the cushion beside him. His body was stiff, and Buffy raised eyes shining with regret.

“I don’t know. I knew I was kissing you at first, but you felt so much like… Joyce’s father….”

“Why don’t you just say Spike? I felt like Spike to you.” She could hear bitterness in his tone.

“You feel like Joyce’s father,” she repeated. “And—”

“I thought Spike was Joyce’s father.”

“In a way… he was… is…”

“Buffy.” Bill’s fists were clenched. “What’s going on here?”

“Okay, remember our deal? I won’t panic that you want to run away, if you promise not to make a plan to do it without telling me I’m freaking you out. Okay?”

He put his head against the back of the sofa and sighed. “I don’t think I could leave you if I wanted to right now. And not just because it would be hard to walk in my current condition.” He turned his head to meet her embarrassed gaze. “Sorry, that was crude.”

She shrugged. “I’ve heard worse. And did I mention ‘sorry’?”

He waved his hand and leaned forward. “I’ll live. So, explain to me please, how there is a difference between Spike – who is Joyce’s father – and her actual father… who is not Spike?” His brows drew together. “I’m really having a hard time with this one.”

“Well, to start with, you’ve got to understand that I actually met Spike when he was a little boy…” She paused and shook her head. “Let me start over. Sometimes, there are… portals… that go to other worlds, dimensions, or times. Maybe all of the above, I don’t really know. Anyway, I chased a demon through a portal one time when I was a really young slayer and ended up in Victorian England for a few days. And I spent those days….”

By the time Buffy had finished explaining about meeting young William Pratt and then meeting Spike well over a century later, Bill was resting his head on the back cushion again. “So, Spike and I had a rocky start, but eventually we ended up together and saved the world a bunch of times. And I—we—thought we’d be together until… well, until I either got killed for real or died of old age. So when he just dusted… after not nearly enough years of being full partners in everything… I didn’t know what to do with myself. We’d both… okay telling you we’d both died a couple of times already and it didn't stick probably isn’t going to help. Forget that. The point is, I was a mess. I was hoping he’d find a way to come back to me, but I also had a pocketful of dust and ashes to prove that he couldn’t.” She glanced at Bill’s blank face, then back down at her hands twisting together on her lap.

“I don’t know what you believe in… but my world is overseen by The Powers That Be —or as Spike called them ‘The Powers That Think They Can Fuck with Everybody’. You can think of them as whatever you want – God, Good, Evil, whatever – they try to keep the balance, and they’re very powerful. I guess I was screaming at them… I was pretty upset that they would let something like that happen to me… again. So, they gave me one day to go back to Spike, before he was vamped, but after he was an adult.”

She glanced at him again. “You actually look more like William than Spike, most of the time.”

“Makes sense that I’d look more like human William than a vampire,” he said without looking at her.

“Yeah. I guess so.” She sighed. “Anyway, I think you can figure out where I’m going with this. I ended up in that same field with grown-up, but still young and innocent William, and I seduced him into making love to me one last time – not for him, of course, but that’s how I saw it. I really wasn’t thinking about anything but having a chance to say goodbye and to hold him when I could appreciate that it was never going to happen again. I spent the night with him and then I came home. 

“The Powers wiped his memory of it, so it didn’t interfere when we met later when he was a vamp. And I didn’t know anything about it when we met because it hadn’t happened yet in my timeline, and… this stuff gives me a headache. I’m not very good at explaining time stuff. But that’s what happened. I made love with William because I was mourning the man–vampire– he was going to become some day, and I came back pregnant. I didn’t plan it, didn’t even figure it out for a while, but I had my daughter and life was worth living again.”

“Holy shit.” He brought his head forward and gave her a look filled with longing and sadness as he touched her chin. “I feel like I’m ruining your life again… just by looking like this man you loved so much.”

“No. No, you aren’t. I just have to… we need to take some time. I need to know that it’s you I want, and not a substitute for someone I’ll never have again. Does that make sense?” Buffy’s eyes were swimming in the tears she’d not been able to suppress while telling her story. He took a deep breath and leaned away from her.

“Of course it does. I just don’t want to be adding to your pain. I don’t want to run away from you – quite the contrary – but I will if that’s what’s best for you and Joyce.”

Buffy shook her head. “Maybe it’s stupid or selfish of me, and maybe it’s not the best thing for you, but I don’t want you to run away. I just don’t want to… I don’t want to kiss you like that until I’m sure I want to be kissing Bill Patterson.”

“I want that too, Buffy. I’d like to think I’m not the kind of man who would take advantage of a woman’s feelings for somebody else just to…. but I wouldn’t swear I’m not. I’m not sure I’m strong enough to walk away from kisses that do that to me.”

The whole time they’d been talking, his hand was cupping her chin and his thumb was rubbing lightly along her cheekbone. When they both realized what he was doing, he dropped his hand just as Buffy pulled back. 

He stood up and held out his hand to her, dropping it as soon as she was on her feet. They stood only a few inches apart, not making eye contact.

“So, I’m just going to go home, take a cold shower, and try to get some sleep before I go to work at the dojo.”

“Right. And I’m going to… to go to bed and sleep so I can get up tomorrow and think of some magical way to keep dating you without trying to jump your bones.”

“Okay, that thought is going to take more than one cold shower… maybe I can just sleep in the bathtub…” He adjusted himself without even trying to hide what he was doing, glaring at Buffy when she laughed at him. 

“Sorry,” she choked out. “I’m so sorry. You should just go now. Before you decide you’d rather kill me.”

“It could come to that,” he muttered, walking to the door. He paused and looked back over his shoulder. “I suppose a goodnight kiss is out of the question? Right,” he answered himself when she gaped at him. “Bad idea, Bill. Shut up and go home.” As he left the house, Buffy moved to the doorway. 

“Drive carefully.”

“I’ll call you tomorrow. We can do this. I’m just going to haunt you until you think you know me well enough to—”

“I’d like that,” she said. “I mean, the call me tomorrow. The haunting not so much maybe.”

“Goodnight, Buffy.”

“Night, Bill.”


	6. Chapter Six

**CHAPTER SIX**

 

Buffy spent most of the next day filling in more details for Joyce about her relationship with Spike and convincing her that he would have been ecstatic to know he had a daughter.

“He’d have spoiled you rotten,” she said, stroking Joyce’s hair. “Of course, he’d also have terrified any boy that wanted to date you, but…”

Joyce smiled and pretended she couldn’t see the tears in Buffy’s eyes. “I’m just glad he was somebody who loved you and not some lowlife who ran out on you when you were pregnant.”

“No. By that time he was a dead hero – many times over. And I’m not sure that running out on a pregnant women he cared for would have been on Spike’s radar even when he was at his most evil. And it definitely wouldn’t have been on William’s.”

“Don’t you think it’s weird how much Mr. Patterson looks like him – William – though?”

Buffy sighed. “It is weird, but that’s just physical stuff – bone structure and curly hair and things like that. Family traits that for whatever reason came together in Bill in almost the same ways they did in… William. I’m sure there are lots of other people on his mother’s side of the family with high cheekbones and blue eyes and whatever, just maybe not all together in the same person. Or they’ve just never bothered to look at old pictures and notice the resemblance. Bill said he does look a lot like one of the cousins he has in England.” Buffy shrugged. 

“What’s weirder are all the ways he _reminds_ me of Spike. I can understand looking like him, but not some of his habits and gestures… or the way he was sure he wanted to date me so fast.”

“Um… you know you’re still beautiful, right? I mean, yay slayer healing, neither you or Aunt Faith look anywhere near your real ages.”

Buffy smiled. “Flattery will not get you that new jacket you want. But, okay, let’s just say he was knocked out by my amazing looks. That doesn’t explain why he didn’t go running off as soon as he found out what I am, or saw me in action slaying.”

“What are you trying to say? That he _is_ Spike… my father?”

“No. That’s crazy. Even if I believed in reincarnation – which I don’t – Bill was already an adult when your father—Oh my God…. No. No way.” Buffy’s face went white as she shook her head vigorously.

“No way what? What?”

“Nothing. I have to make a phone call.”

**XXXXXX**

Buffy waited until Joyce had given up nagging her and gone to her room before calling Bill. When he answered, she didn’t even say hello, only asking, “What is the date – the year you almost died? When they had to bring you back?”

“May, 2008,” he said immediately. “I’d have to ask my mother the exact day I coded and they had to resuscitate me. The accident was on the 6th, so sometime after that.”

“You were pretty quick with that answer,” Buffy said.

“I did the math on the way home last night. When was Spike—”

“May 8th.”

“Holy shit, Buffy,” he whispered. “Do you think—”

“I‘m not thinking anything right now. Or at least I’m trying not to…. but I guess we need to talk.”

“You think? I’ve got to close up here this afternoon. But I’m coming over as soon as I can.”

“Okay. You might as well plan to have dinner here.”

“I’ll see you in a couple of hours.”

“See you,” she echoed.

 

**XXXXXX**

While the chicken she was roasting was in the oven, Buffy went to her computer and tried to reach Willow. Luck was with her, and a reply came back quickly. She smiled when her screen showed her Willow’s face.

“Hey there,” Buffy said. “I’m glad I caught you.”

“You just barely did. I was just thinking I’d grab a desserty snack and then go to bed early tonight.”

“Oh, damn, I forgot how late it is there! I’m sorry, Wills. Are you all ready for bed?”

“Nope. Not yet. It’s all good. We witchy types like to stay up late and sleep in.”

“Okay, if you’re sure…”

“I’m sure. So what’s up? Something wrong?”

“I don’t know how to even explain this… you know how I feel about all that reincarnation stuff you picked up in Tibet….”

“I do.” Willow’s voice became slightly chillier. “You think it’s all poppycock and hogwash. Does that about cover it?”

“It does. It did. I don’t know what to think now…”

“What’s different now?”

When Buffy had finished explaining about meeting Bill, their immediate attraction, and finding out he was related to Spike, as well as the coincidence of his moments of being dead being around the same time as Spike’s dusting, she paused and waited for Willow to say something. There was a long silence, made easier to bear because she could see that Willow was thinking hard.

“Okay. I’m going to have to talk to some people here. We need to know more about Spike’s family, and I need to find out if there’s any record of a soul being reborn in an adult who has died, however briefly.”

“But you think it’s possible?” Buffy was torn between hope and fear.

“That’s what I want to find out,” Willow said, firmly. “I don’t want you to get your hopes up… and, Buffy? It doesn’t sound like he actually _is_ Spike. Just that he maybe… I don’t know. I’ll look into it and get back to you first thing in the morning. If I have to, I’ll come over and try to get a reading from his aura.”

“Okay. Thanks, Willow. I know it’s a long shot, but….”

“If it’s bothering you, and there’s any chance that Spike has… Yes. It is a long shot. I don’t want to pretend it isn’t. But if somebody who refuses to believe in reincarnation is considering it, then it’s worth checking out.”

“Than—”

“Don’t thank me till we know what’s what. But, Buffy, don’t run away from somebody you might want to be with just because he is or isn’t who you want him to be. If you and this guy have something between you, don’t throw it away if it turns out he just looks like his great, great something or other.”

“Yes, oh dispenser of relationship advice,” Buffy said, affection clear in her tone and on her face.

“Mama Willow has spoken.”

“And Buffy has listened.”

“Talk to you soon.”

“Bye”

**XXXXXXX**

 

“All right. What’s going on? Mysterious phone calls… pacing the floor…. and now Mr. Patterson is pulling into the driveway again. After you told me you and he were going to take a couple of days to ‘chill’.”

“I’ll explain. I promise. But I’m waiting for Willow to get back to me about something, and I’d rather talk about it then. Is that okay?”

“Fine.” Joyce didn’t look particularly fine, but she sighed and nodded. “Okay, will you do this for me? Tell me if you really like my teacher, or if this is turning into some kind of weird slayer-related thing.”

Buffy looked toward the door, which was now vibrating under Bill’s fist. 

“Nope. Answer me first. Is it okay to get used to having him around and liking him, or would that be a bad idea?”

“He’s your teacher. You’ll like him or not. As far as getting used to him being around… that’s up to him… mostly.” Buffy ran to the door and threw it open. “Sorry,” she said breathlessly. “We were in the middle of a mother-daughter conversation.”

He raised his eyebrows at Joyce, sighing when she turned away and refused to meet his gaze.

“This is going to be complicated, isn’t it?” he said. “I’m not sure how to handle dating a woman who is also a parent of a child in my class. I’ve never done that before.”

“Why did you ask my mom out, then?” Joyce whirled and stalked toward him. “If you never do it, why did you do it this time?”

“I wish I knew,” he said, his sincerity apparent. “Not that I regret it,” he added, turning to Buffy. “Not for a second. But it _was_ out of character and I’d really like to know why I did it, and why seeing you makes my entire body thrum with excitement.”

“Ewwww! I didn’t need to hear that!” Joyce turned and ran up the stairs, slamming her door tightly.

Buffy rolled her eyes. “Welcome to my life,” she said with a grimace.

He surprised her by chuckling. “You forget I make my living dealing with moods like that everyday. She didn’t throw me out, so I’m calling it a win.”

Buffy led the way back to the living room, peering at him sideways. “Thrum, huh?”

“Too poetic?”

Buffy laughed. “I’ll let you know after I think about it. I think a long time ago, some guy said something about his body humming… kinda the same thing?”

“More or less. I think I like my word better.” He sat down at the same end of the couch he’d been on the night before. “So, this humming guy, should I be jealous?”

“Nah. He was nice enough, but he didn’t have a chance. I was already with Spike when I met him. ” She smiled at him sadly. “And I don’t think he could’ve handled having the Slayer for his girlfriend.”

“His loss.”

“Spike’s gain.”

“Oh ho. So that’s how it was, huh?”

“Well, not exactly. I mean Spike and I were already… we’d had our ups and downs, but Spike really stepped up when we needed him, and Riley never really understood that I couldn’t date him because I was in love with a vampire. He left Sunnydale eventually after some….never mind. He’s nothing you need to worry about.” 

The conversation trailed off as they stared at each other. Bill finally exhaled sharply and leaned forward, elbows resting on his knees. “So, are we going to make small talk all night, or talk about what we think we found out today?”

“All we found out, so far, is that you were briefly dead and brought back to life around the same time Spike… died.”

“And you don’t believe in reincarnation.”

“No. I think when you die, your soul goes to… well, Heaven if you’re a slayer—”

When he jokingly interrupted, “Are you sure about that?” her curt, “Yes” made him frown, but he didn’t interrupt again.

“I don’t know where vampire souls go. I mean, if you’ve saved the world a bunch of times and you stopped being evil, and you got your soul back, I think you should go to Heaven too. But I don’t know that,” she finished softly. “I just hope that’s what happens.”

“So you don’t believe that soul might find its way into the body of a distant relative who is destined to end up in the same city as the love of your life?”

Buffy’s eyes were wide. “Is that what you think?”

“I’m asking about you,” he said gently. “Do you think that’s possible?”

Buffy sighed and squeezed her eyes shut. “No. I don’t believe it’s possible. But I can’t explain… so I have somebody who knows all about reincarnation looking into it for me.” She opened her eyes and met his gaze. “Why do you think it is?”

“Well, skipping the whole ‘you make my body thrum’ thing, because you’re a beautiful woman and maybe I’m just really horny…” He frowned at her narrowed eyes. “See? You want it to be more, believe in it or not.” He smiled and continued, “Let’s recap what we do know.

“I haven’t asked my mother yet, but we both know it’s going to turn out to be the same day – the one that Spike died… and so did I… but I was resuscitated. And after I woke up, I was… different. Little things, mostly, but they were there. And a few bigger things.” He began ticking off on his fingers. “I changed my brand of booze, I took up martial arts and found out I like to fight, I started wearing leather jackets and writing poetry. I know how to be a gentleman, but I know how to be rude and crude too. And five minutes after I met you, I knew I wanted to know you better. And the first time I kissed you… it was like coming home.”

When she didn’t answer, he sighed and went to his knees in front of her. Neither one of them acknowledged her flinch as he went into that position. “Why don’t you want to admit it could be… something… something you don’t want to believe?”

She gazed at him with damp eyes. “Because for so long I hoped and watched, and… prayed to… whoever…and I finally just accepted the loss. I had a wonderful man for a while – until I didn’t. And I have my beautiful daughter and a nice life, and I figured if I meet somebody, great, and if I don’t, well, I should just appreciate what I had. And now you’re here, and….” She stopped and took a deep breath. “And I’m scared, Bill. I’m afraid to let myself believe after all this time…. and I’m afraid if it isn’t true, I’ll drive you away and… and I really don’t want to do that. But I don’t want to be with you just because you feel like Spike to me. You deserve more than that.” 

“I’m not going anywhere, Buffy. I don’t think I can. You may not believe reincarnation is possible, but I do. I think there could be a man inside me who has you in here.” He touched his heart. “And now I’ve got you there.”

“W-willow, did I tell you about Willow?” He shook his head. “Well she’s been a friend forever, and she’s a very powerful witch, and she’s trying to find out if somebody can be reincarnated into somebody who already has a life.” Buffy waved her hand around. “Which isn’t where I was going with that,” she said, shaking her head. “Anyway, Willow said that if I like you, I should just go for it. Not worry about if you are or aren’t Spike.”

“Works for me,” he said, leaning in to brush his lips across hers. “I’ll take you any way I can have you.”

“This is so wrong….” Buffy whispered as she let herself fall into the kiss.

“Nothing that feels this right can be wrong.” He moved to his feet and managed to sit beside her without ever breaking the kiss. They were both very conscious of how, the night before, they’d slipped so easily into something inappropriate for Joyce to walk in on, and they limited themselves to relatively chaste, if heartfelt, kissing. To no avail, as they never noticed Joyce until she spoke.


	7. Chapter Seven

**CHAPTER SEVEN**

“This better mean straight ‘A’s in English for me the rest of the year, or I’m telling the counselor how traumatized I am now.”

They lurched apart and glared at her. “We’re adults. We don’t have to explain ourselves.”

“Didn’t ask for an explanation,” Joyce said. “I’m old enough to know what you’re doing. I’m just saying, I’m gonna tell….”

“Is there a reason why you’re here? In the living room? Where I’m entertaining a gentleman visitor?”

“You mean where you’re playing tonsil hockey with my English teacher?”

Something on Buffy’s face got through to Joyce’s sense of self preservation and she backed away. 

“But, really, it’s none of my business. I just thought you’d want to know that the timer’s going off in the kitchen, and your laptop’s been beeping for the past ten minutes. I think it’s Aunt Willow.”

“Already? She said tomorrow morning.” 

“Yeah. Here.” Joyce shoved the laptop into Buffy’s hands and waited.

“What?”

“I’m not going anywhere till you tell me what’s going on.”

Buffy gave a very audible growl, “Fine. Go turn the oven off and take the chicken out.” Then she opened the laptop. “Hi Will. Sorry. I was in another room and—”

“Is that him?” Buffy realized that Bill was looking over her shoulder where Willow could see him.

“Yeah. That’s him. So that was pretty fast. What did you find out?”

Willow waved. “Hi Bill.”

“Hello, Willow. Nice to meet you.”

“ _Willow!”_

“Oh right. Well here’s the thing. Nobody’s ever heard of anybody being reincarnated into a temporarily dead person. But then, they don’t how Spike got his soul back in the first place – like why didn’t it go to someone else when he died the first time? So maybe vampire souls just sort of … hang out…. somewhere unless they’re called by a curse, or a demon with fiery hands—” 

“Fiery hands?” 

“I’ll explain later,” Buffy shushed him. “Go on, Willow.

“Okay. Nobody has ever heard of it, but they don’t know why it couldn’t happen if Bill was really dead long enough, at the right time. So, yeah. No real answer – other than Spike spent most of his time doing things other vampires can’t, won’t, don’t do, so nobody’s willing to say it couldn’t happen.”

“Well that was helpful – in a way that isn’t.”

“Sorry, guys. That’s all I got. But if you need me to show up there and see if I can get a reading…”

“I hate to ask you to do that, Willow.”

“Yes,” Bill said. “Whatever a ‘reading’ is, I don’t want you spending your time and money to do one for me.”

Willow laughed while Buffy smiled at him. 

“Did I mention that Willow is an incredible powerful witch? With lots of skills?”

“Do I even want to know what—”

“Probably not.” 

There was a loud ‘pop’ and suddenly Willow was standing only a few feet away from them. Bill’s face paled. 

“I knew I didn’t want to know,” he muttered, almost to himself. With a visible effort, he pulled himself together enough to say, “The incomparable Willow, I presume?”

She waved. “That’s me. Sorry to do that to you, but I’ve got a little free time tonight and it seemed like we should just get it done now.”

He smiled weakly. “Sure. Why not. Uh… what are we doing exactly?”

“Well, you’re just going to stand there. Or you could sit if you want to. And I’m going to try to read your aura and see if it’s… yours. I might need to touch your hand, but I’ll warn you first.”

“Go for it, Red,” he said, sighing when both Buffy and Willow sucked in their breath. “Did it again, didn’t I? Okay, do your thing. If there’s somebody else lurking in here, I may as well know about it now.”

Buffy stepped up beside him and took his hand. He startled, but gave her a grateful smile. They stood, fingers linked, while Willow closed her eyes and began breathing deeply. Suddenly, her eyes flew open and she gave a gasp, grabbing his free hand. Bill started to say something about having two beautiful women fighting over him, but never finished it, interrupted when Willow stepped closer and peered into his eyes intently. He stood, frozen in place, trapped by her gaze. 

“Hey there, Spike. Long time no see,” she whispered. Beside her, Buffy gave a gasping sob and sank onto the couch. Released from Willow’s stare, Bill sank down beside her.

“So, what are you saying? That I’m not me any more? That I’ve been somebody else since my accident? This isn’t my body or my life?” There was more than a little anger in his voice and Buffy began to realize that what would make her happy, wasn’t necessarily true for Bill. She took back the hand she’d been reaching for him with and put it in her lap.

Willow shook her head and sat on the coffee table facing them. “It’s not quite that simple. Your own aura is there – and it’s quite strong. Don’t worry about that. You’re definitely you. But Spike’s aura is there too, just not as strong as yours. They’re mostly blended, I think, with yours being very much the dominant one. But when I looked into your eyes just now… I saw somebody very familiar. Just for a few seconds, and it was a little bit scary to be honest. I think Spike hasn’t so much taken over your body as he has been inserted … or his soul has… into it with you. Up till now, his influence has been fairly minor – changing your favorite brand of booze, looking for an outlet for more violence than you’re used to, nothing that would cause you to wonder what was going on.” 

“But then I met Buffy.” He still hadn’t looked at her or tried to touch her since Willow finished, and Buffy leaned away from him a little more.

“And then you met Buffy.” She nodded her head. “She’s always been the most important thing in the world to Spike. If anything was going to make him more likely to try to assert himself, it would be knowing Buffy was here. The question for you is, how much of what you feel for her would have happened anyway, and how much is Spike’s soul pushing you toward her?”

He closed his eyes and shook his head. “I’ve got no fuckin’ idea,” he said. “Sorry, Joyce,” he amended when he heard her gasp. “But I’m sure you hear worse than that in school hallways every day.” 

“Not from my teachers!” A glare from Buffy stopped her from elaborating and she curled up in an easy chair to watch the adults.

Bill had made eye contact with Willow again, still without looking at or speaking to Buffy, who continued to shrink away from him. “Maybe a bigger question is, how much of Buffy’s willingness to be with me is going to depend on her knowing the man she loves lives here?”

“I can’t answer that, Bill. Any more than I can answer the question about how much your attraction to her is something you would have done on your own, or if Spike is pushing you into it.”

“Of course, I’d be attracted to her! She’s bloody gorgeous… and oh God. I’ve never used that word before in my life….” He slumped back against the couch, realizing for the first time that Buffy had retreated to the other end and was huddled there in a miserable lump.

“I’m guessing the word in question isn’t ‘gorgeous’,” Willow said with a sigh.

“It is not.” He stood up. His expression was hard and his voice was flat. “How do we fix this?”

Willow gasped while Buffy moaned and curled up even tighter. When no one said anything, Joyce stood up and walked over to Bill. “Are you… are you my… father?” Her eyes were mirrors of his own, but hers swam with unshed tears. 

“Shit!” He shut his eyes again and turned away. Joyce turned to Willow.

“Aunt Willow? Is he my father?”

“No sweetheart. He’s not your father. But it looks like Spike’s soul went into his body when he was technically dead for a few minutes. Since he didn’t die, when he revived, they both ended up in there. He’s been living his life since then with your father’s soul sharing space with his.”

“What does that mean?” Joyce’s gaze went back and forth between them. “And what’s wrong with Mom?”

Bill turned to look at Buffy, seeing for the first time that her shoulders were shaking with silent sobs. “Christ, I’m an idiot,” he said, going to his knees beside her and reaching for her with a tentative hand that hovered just over her quivering shoulders. “Buffy… I’m sorry. I know you wanted this, but if we’re going to have anything… anything worth having, we have to know who we… who we’re falling in love with. Both of us.”

There was no sign from Buffy, but her shoulders stilled and she appeared to be listening. He sat on the floor, turning his back against the couch, but obviously speaking only to her.

“I don’t doubt for one second that I’d have found you desirable no matter what. Or that I could fall in love with you someday. You’re beautiful, you’re interesting, and you know how to have fun. It might take me a while to get used to the idea that you’re stronger than me, but I could deal with it.” He paused and sighed. “But I don’t fall in love overnight. Ever. And to do it with somebody I just met and haven’t even—” He suddenly remembered Joyce’s presence. “Someone I’ve barely even kissed. That’s not me. That’s the man who’s sharing my body. He loves you.”

He sighed again and turned his head far enough to see where she was. He reached for her hand and brought it to his lips. “That’s me, not him,” he said, in reply to her small gasp. “It’s me apologizing for sounding so pissed off about finding out that what I was trying to convince you was true, actually is. I was a selfish jerk not to realize that it sounded like I didn’t want you. I do. But I need to know that you want me… Bill Patterson. Not some vampire spirit that’s sharing my space.”

“Bill,” Willow interrupted gently. “If I hadn’t told you I could see Spike, would you have felt so violated? Have you been unhappy or felt weird all this time? Has having Spike’s soul been a problem for you?”

He glared at her, then shook his head. “Point taken. I just hate the idea that I’m falling for someone who might be in love with somebody who isn’t me.”

“He _is_ you. Not as much you as who you remember being when you were growing up, but the one you’ve been for the past eighteen years. If you can think of him as just a part of you, not somebody to fight with or try to evict….”

“I don’t want Buffy to be with me because she thinks I’m Spike,” he said, holding tightly to her hand when she tried to pull it away. “I’m not him. I can’t ever be him.”

Buffy took a deep shuddering breath and pulled her hand away as she sat up.

“I’m sorry,” she said softly. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me… I was just so… and then you wanted to ‘fix it’….” She shuddered. “I’m not being fair. You’ve got every right to want a woman who loves you for you, not because….” Her voice trailed off and tears welled up again, but she swiped them away. “I’m stronger than this. I’m sorry,” she repeated.

“Nothing to be sorry for, love,” he said, turning to face her and getting to his knees again so they were at the same level. “You heard news that made you happy, and I carried on as if it was the worst thing ever. _I’m_ sorry for being such an unthinking asshole.”

“So, what are we going to?”

“How about have dinner?” Joyce said, her cheery tone belied by the anxiety on her face. “Aunt Willow, do you want to join us? I can set another place…”

“Thank you, sweetie, but I had my dinner hours ago. If there’s nothing else for me to do here, I should get home and go to bed.” Willow turned to look at Bill and Buffy, now on their feet and standing just close enough together to be touching. “I’m going to go back, and tomorrow I’ll talk some more with the experts and see if there’s anything else we need to know. I’m sorry I can’t be more helpful than that. I think it’s up to you two from here.”

Buffy walked up to Willow and hugged her hard. “Thank you,” she whispered. “Thank you for doing this.”

“Aw, Buffy. How could I not? I’ll come back soon. Maybe before the holidays….”

Bill shook Willow’s hand. “I’m sorry I reacted so poorly. Pretty stupid on my part, especially since it was my idea in the first place. I guess it’s one thing to believe in reincarnation intellectually, and another thing to realize that you’ve been sharing your body with somebody else.”

“Perfectly understandable,” Willow said. “It certainly isn’t a normal reincarnation where the old soul becomes part of a newborn baby and is the only soul in there. Who knows what happened? Maybe the soul was sent to you because you died, and there was no way to take it back when you were resuscitated so quickly that your own soul was still there. I don’t know. But I’m going to research it. Tomorrow. Now I’m going home to get some sleep.” With a wave, she vanished from the living room, leaving Buffy, Joyce, and Bill staring at each other.

“Chicken dinner, anybody?” Buffy asked as she went toward the kitchen. “Joyce, if you’ll finish the table, I’ll make a salad and cut some bread.”


	8. Chapter Eight

**CHAPTER EIGHT**

Dinner was a quiet affair, Buffy drinking more wine that she did eating of food, Bill joining her in drinking wine when the fridge ran out of beer, and Joyce looking back and forth between them, down to her plate, and then back at them.

“So, if you two get together…. and we become a family…. is this what dinner is going to be like every night? Mom swilling wine like a… wine-swilling thing, Dad-Bill-Mr. Patterson drinking even more wine, but making faces about it, and me – trying to make conversation with two drunks.”

“We’re not drunk.”

“Not drunk, Joyce. Don’t like it enough to get drunk on it.” 

Buffy congratulated herself on not even blinking at the very Spike-like comment, but she sent Bill a sideways glance.

“Well, you’re not exactly pleasant company,” Joyce announced, standing and picking up her plate. “I’m going to go to bed now. Please don’t do anything to traumatize me.”

“If you stay in your room, you won’t have to worry about it,” Buffy said, her emotions over the situation making her more snappish than usual. With an offended huff, Joyce took her plate into the kitchen and put it into the dishwasher with more noise than was necessary. Buffy dropped her head down on her arms, barely missing the plate full of food. “I’m such a bitch.”

He sighed. “Don’t worry about it. If you hadn’t said it, I probably would have.” 

She raised her head to meet his gaze. “So we both suck?”

He gave a noncommittal shrug, then nodded. “I think, as the adults here, we have to remember that she’s dealing with more than a few issues herself. It can’t be easy to learn that your dead father was a vampire and that your teacher, who looks like him, may or may not be harboring his soul. We should cut her some slack.”

“Okay, that’s obviously you speaking because Spike would never be so understanding about… Oh hell, yes he probably would. I’d forgotten how good he was with Dawn. And he was still evil then.”

“Dawn?”

“My sister. More madness that I’ll cover some other time.” She looked at him and her lips twitched. “You’d think, if Spike was really in there somewhere, he’d save me all this explaining and just fill you in on everything.”

“ _If_ he were really in here? I thought that’s what your friend – whose arrival and departure I will freak out about in the privacy of my own home, thank you very much – found to be true? She even said hi to him.”

“I know, I know. I didn’t really mean ‘if’ as in I don’t think he is. I was just… I don’t know. Complaining because he isn’t making himself more useful?”

“I’ll speak to him about that,” Bill responded, his own lips twitching just enough to show he was kidding.

“See that you do,” Buffy said, her small smile more genuine. She stood up. “I’m going to go apologize to my daughter. Feel free to finish your meal.”

 

**XXXXXX**

Buffy entered the kitchen to find Joyce staring out the window, her eyes suspiciously shiny. Buffy walked up behind her and put her arms around her waist, resting her head on Joyce’s back.

“I’m sorry, honey,” she said. “I’m so wrapped up in my own emotions, I forgot this was kind of a big deal for you too.”

“Just tell me one thing… what’s going to happen now?”

“Oh sweetheart. If I only knew….”

“Baby steps.” Bill’s voice preceded him into the kitchen. He had both hands full with his plate and Buffy’s. “You need a dog,” he said, as he set down her barely touched food.

“I’ll have it for lunch tomorrow.” Buffy took the plate and busied herself putting the food into a container in the refrigerator. Leaving Bill and Joyce staring at each other.

“Baby steps?” 

He nodded. “Your mom and I are going to have to try to get to know each other as if we really were almost complete strangers. We’ll date, we’ll have fun, we’ll probably have an argument or two, we’ll kiss and makeup… at some point we’ll have to decide if this is working or not. The only difference between me and anybody else your mother might have dated, is that—”

“Is that I look just like you.”

Buffy spoke up. “You don’t look ‘just like’ him. If you were a boy, it might be harder, but you’re not, so the resemblance isn’t going to be that obvious to anyone else. Neither one of you noticed it before. We can see it now because we know you’re related… distantly. I don’t think anyone else is going to think twice about it.”

“Is that all you’re worried about?” Bill said. “That we might look alike to your friends?”

“Yes. No. I don’t know.” She crossed her arms over her chest and gave him a challenging stare. “What do I call you now?”

“At school, you call me Mr. Patterson,” he said firmly. “Here… I don’t know. You decide what feels right for you.”

“Okay, Cuz,” she said, an almost sincere smile on her face. “Now I really am going to my room. Night, grownups.”

“Goodnight, Joy,” Buffy said, using the nickname she’d used when Joyce was a baby.

“Goodnight, Joyce,” Bill echoed.

**XXXXXX**

“Now what?”

“I don’t know. I should probably go home. I need a shower, and a change of clothes.” He gestured at the warmup suit he’d thrown on over his dojo clothes. “What do you want to do?”

“Nothing that involves baby steps,” she muttered.

He chuckled, a warm sound that went all the way to her toes. He put his arms around her in a loose embrace. “You know what’s nice about baby steps?”

“What?” She looked up at him, prepared to pout if she didn’t get what she wanted.

“They’re really small, so if you have long legs, you can take them two or three at a time….” He brushed his lips across hers and tightened his grip. 

“And,” she titled her head to reach his mouth again. “If you have superpowers, you can jump right over them.”

“And that….”

 

After standing up kissing for what seemed to be both hours and just moments, Buffy found herself pressed up against the refrigerator, pinned there by a body that was feeling more and more like Spike every second. At one of their short pauses for breath, she shook her head and pushed him away gently.

“Buffy….” His groan was so familiar, she almost allowed herself to shut her eyes and just pretend. Fortunately, he realized what he was doing and nodded his agreement as she continued to hold him at arm’s length. “You’re right. It’s one thing to skip the baby steps, it’s something else to pretend the gap we’re leaping over doesn’t exist.”

They separated and stood, breathing heavily and not meeting each other’s eyes. 

“This might be harder than I thought,” he said with a rueful laugh. 

“Ya think?” She gave a small snort as she smiled back at him.

“We can do this. We will date, like respectable grown up people do. I will take you to dinner, the movies, whatever. I’ll be charming and fun. We’ll include Joyce sometimes so she doesn’t feel neglected. I’ll give you a chaste goodnight kiss at the door for a while. And eventually, I’ll invite you to have dinner at my apartment. I’ll set the mood, pour some wine, and seduce you on my couch. Baby steps.”

“How many dinners and movies are you planning on?”

“Oh, I don’t know. What’s a reasonable number? Two, three?” He wiggled his eyebrows at her. 

Buffy giggled and moved closer to him. “Two or three sounds about right. We don’t want to rush things.”

“Nope. No rushing.” He pulled her into his chest and let her feel his lack of interest in waiting. “But no dawdling, either.” 

“Oh, absolutely no dawdling. I’m not much of a dawdler. I more action-girl.” She frowned. “That sounded dirtier than I meant it to.”

“I think I like action-girl,” he murmured into her neck. “She sounds like my kind of woman.”

“I hope she is,” Buffy sighed back, enjoying his warm breath on her neck even as she noticed he was nibbling on the same spot Spike liked to nibble. “We should stop now,” she said, somewhat breathlessly. “Or I’m going to end up a refrigerator magnet again.”

“You’re right,” he said, letting her go with obvious reluctance. “I’d like to blame what you do to me on Spike, but I’m not sure I wouldn’t be just as hot for you if he’d never crossed my path.”

“Ditto for me,” she said. “Although, I can’t be as sure. I mean, I didn’t know Spike was in there.” She tapped on his chest. “ So I can’t say that’s why I went out with you. But I’d be lying if I said the way you look and feel isn’t the reason I’m behaving like such a slut.”

“And thank you, Great Uncle William, for passing down those genes.”

Buffy giggled. “Well, I’m pretty sure Joyce is his only direct descendent, but yay for family resemblances.”

“Yay, indeed. Okay. I’m going to take my overheated self out of here. But I’d like to see you again tomorrow. Maybe in the afternoon? We can go someplace and do something where we’re not likely to encounter vampires?”

“Sounds like fun. Call me in the morning.”

She walked him to the door, frowning when he opened it and appeared ready to walk out without even a goodbye. He hesitated on the threshold, then turned back and pecked her quickly on the cheek. 

“See you tomorrow, Buffy,” he said as he made his escape before either of them could initiate another round of kisses leading to nothing but frustration. 

“See you….” Buffy watched until his car pulled away, then closed the door and leaned against it, her forehead pressed into the wood.

 

**XXXXXX**

 

“Mom?”

“Yes, honey?”

Joyce shook her head. “Nothing. I was gonna ask how it’s going with Mr. Patterson-Bill-Cuz, but I guess it’s none of my business. It just seems like you guys have been seeing each other a lot and….”

“It’s going,” Buffy said. “Like he told you, we’re taking baby steps. We want to know that we really like each other for who we are now, and not that your dad’s soul is pushing us into something that we’re going to regret.”

“You don’t want to be… together… again with my father?” Joyce’s voice was small and it was impossible to miss the sadness in it. 

“Oh, sweetheart. You have no idea how much I’d love that – but that isn’t what’s going on here. Bill isn’t going to magically turn into Spike just because we… we take the relationship to another level.” Ignoring Joyce’s coughing “have sex”, she went on, “He’s always going to be who he is, who he has been for the past forty-some years. I have to know that I could love that man for himself. And he has to know he could love me, even if he didn’t have Spike’s soul nagging at him.” 

She took a deep breath. “This is a lot more important than just finding out you suddenly like to drink Jack Daniels and write poetry.”

“But if you do… if you both think you’re falling in love, we could be a family, couldn’t we?”

Buffy sighed. “Joyce, we’ve only been dating for a few weeks. I think it’s a little bit early to be talking about being a family.” She shook her head. “You know, when you were little, I tried really hard not to let you get too used to any of the guys I was dating unless I had some reason to think it might turn into something… permanent.”

“Which it never did.”

“Exactly. But this time, you were in on this right from the beginning, and I thought it would be okay by now. That you were probably old enough to know sometimes relationships work out and sometimes they don’t…. That you wouldn’t have unrealistic expectations about—”

“About a man who already thinks he loves you, who you can’t keep your hands off, and who…. in case you forgot…. has my reincarnated daddy inside him? I don’t know why I might think this could be any different….”

Buffy just stared at her. “Out of the mouths of babes….” she muttered. “I’ll be right back.”

XXXXXXXX

Buffy ran to get her phone, forgetting in her haste that it was sitting on the coffee table in the same room. By the time she’d run all over the house, from her bedroom, to the kitchen, to the basement, and back to the living room to shake out her purse on the couch, Joyce was laughing.

“Mom? Mom. Mom!”

“What?” Buffy glanced up from pawing through the contents of her purse to see Joyce pointing at the coffee table with a big grin on her face. She stood up and stretched.

“You obviously have an important phone call to make that will probably not be something my innocent little ears should listen to, so I’m just going to leave for school now.” As she picked up her tablet and put it into her book bag, she added, “Bill doesn’t have any classes till second block, so you shouldn’t have any trouble reaching him.” With another giggle, she waved her way out the door, leaving Buffy glaring at her.

“Disrespectful kid,” Buffy muttered, even as she was touching Bill’s name in her list of frequently called numbers.

“Good morning, love. What’s up so early in the day?”

“It’s time.”

He was silent for a few seconds, then, “Does that mean what I think it means?”

“It does. And if you see Joyce today and she says ‘you’re welcome’, just tell her not to be a smartass.”

“So I have Joyce to thank for having to spend the entire rest of the day hiding behind my desk so as not to offend my students?”

Buffy giggled. “Well, sort of. She just said something that made me realize we really aren’t in a normal situation, and maybe trying to pretend we are isn’t the best way to handle it. It’s just making us act weird.”

“Speak for yourself. I think I’m behaving perfectly fine for a forty-five year old man who is sporting wood more often than a teenager.”

“Maybe we can take care of that problem tonight.” She paused, then said, “And maybe I can get to sleep without—” 

“Without?” 

“Nothing. Never mind. Come here after school and we’ll work out the when and where.”

He sighed heavily. “Right. I forgot. It’s either try to pretend Joyce isn’t just across the hall, or leave her alone all night while you stay with me. It’s going to be complicated, isn’t it?”

“We’ll work something out. Tonight… I don’t know. But after this, maybe we can just spend weekends at your place and Joyce can… I don’t know. We’ll think of something. It’s not like you’re going to be moving in right away.”

“Or ever!” she added quickly when there was silence on his end. “I wasn’t trying to—”

“Buffy. I’m not staying quiet because that spooked me. I’d like to think if we still like each other a few months from now, we might have that conversation, but I’m not stupid enough to think either one of us should be thinking about it yet. I just wasn’t sure how to respond without sounding like I wanted to run if that’s what you were thinking.”

“Oh. Well, okay then. We’re both being sensible, adult people.”

“Sensible adult people who can’t keep their hands off each other.”

“There’s that.” 

“I need to get my room set up for the day, love. And possibly run some cold water on my wrists… I’ll see you this afternoon.”

“Okay. See you later.”

 

**XXXXXXX**

“Okay, Mom, here’s the plan.”

“There’s a plan?”

“Well you don’t have one, do you?” Joyce rushed on. “I didn’t think so. Fortunately you have me to make one for you.”

Buffy blinked in bewilderment. “Yay?” she ventured.

“Yes, yay. Rather than have to spend the evening watching you two killing time until you can send me to bed, or invent an excuse to go out for a while, meanwhile exposing me to way more sexual tension than anyone my age should have to deal with, I’m going to fix things.”

“Fix things?” Buffy scolded herself for sounding like an echo, but having her teenage daughter making plans so that Buffy could have sex with her boyfriend was a new wrinkle in their already unconventional lives.

Joyce sighed. “Are you paying any attention at all? Here’s the deal. I’m super strong. I fight and kill monsters. I’m not a child. I babysit for people whose children actually _are_ too young to stay by themselves. All the doors in our house have locks, as do all the windows, thanks to your slayer paranoia. So, I’m perfectly capable of fixing myself something to eat, eating it, and taking myself to bed at a reasonable hour after doing my homework, and sleeping safely though the night in an empty house.” She stared at Buffy’s frowning expression. “Do you see where I’m going with this?”

“I think so. You’re throwing me out of my own house so you can tell yourself you aren’t interfering with my ability to have a sex life. Is that about it?”

Joyce rolled her eyes. “I wouldn’t put it quite like that, but yes, basically. I’m making it possible for you and the man you’re falling in love with to have a romantic evening without having to worry that you’re scarring me for life.”

“Oh. Well, when you put it that way….”

“So go get ready. Pack an overnight case and I’ll tell Bill to take you to a nice hotel if his apartment is too messy to take you home with him.”

“You won’t tell him any such thing! You shouldn’t be discussing this with him!”

“Too late,” Joyce laughed. “We spend the day in the same building, remember?”

“Oh my God,” Buffy mumbled. 

“It’s okay. He was cool about it… although he did have a little trouble looking me in the eye the rest of the day…”

“Oh my God,” was the only response as Buffy went upstairs to take a shower and pack an overnight bag.


	9. Chapter Nine

**CHAPTER NINE**

“There is something very wrong with this picture.” Bill glanced sideways at Buffy as he drove away from her house.

“I know, I know, but she just… pushed me out the door!”

“What brought this on? Not that I’m complaining,” he hastened to add. “I’m more than ready for this step… but I thought you were still…. thinking.”

“You thought I was still worried I’d close my eyes and pretend you’re Spike,” she said. “And I can’t promise you that isn’t going to happen. But I don’t think putting it off… and making both of us half-crazy every time we’re together… is the right answer. As my much-too-wise-for-her-years daughter pointed out – this isn’t a normal situation and waiting around until it seems like it is....” Buffy paused. “I think she’s getting tired of watching us dance around each other. Or maybe I’m just being bitchier than usual. I dunno. But she convinced me.”

“That’s worth an A plus right there,” he said, risking a sideways smile as he threaded his way through traffic.

Buffy giggled. “Don’t tell her that, or she’ll be making herself invisible every time you come over.”

He snorted his agreement and focused on the traffic again.

“Where are we going? Your apartment’s that way.” Buffy turned her head to look down the street they just passed.

“I was able to get last-minute reservations at the Hilton. Given the state of my apartment, it seemed like the more romantic option.”

“Did Joyce tell you to do that?”

“No. Why? Why would she?”

Buffy shook her head. “Because that’s almost exactly what she said she was going to tell you to do. Although now that I think about it, she shoved me out the door too fast to have had time to do it.”

“Girl already knows me too well,” he sighed. 

Buffy laughed softly. “She’s pretty observant. But since she never met her father, at least we know she wasn’t saying it because of the way he used to live.”

“Wonderful. So she figured out I have a messy apartment all on her own.” 

Buffy rested her hand on his arm. “I think she just wanted me—us—to have our first time be romantic and special. She _is_ sixteen, you know.”

“I know. I hope she’s handling this as well as we think she is.”

“So do I.” She chewed her lip for a moment. “I warned her not to get too invested in it… I’ve never let anybody be enough a part of my life before that I worried that she would miss them if, or more likely when, they disappeared from it. I thought she was old enough now to—”

“To not have expectations that the man who has her father lurking in his brain will become her stepfather?”

“You know, when you get all spooky perceptive like that…”

“A – don’t tell me it’s just like Spike. And B – it doesn’t take a genius to figure out what could be going on with her. She may be behaving in a very adult fashion when it comes to wanting us to have a physical relationship, but she _is_ still a kid. And kids want families. No matter how wonderful their single parent might be, they always hope for that other half.” He gave a short laugh. “And that doesn’t come from being particularly perceptive; it comes from having taught school for the last fifteen years. You teach the kids, but you also learn from them.”

“Wow,” Buffy said quietly. “I think I’d lo-like you even if you didn’t look like… somebody else.”

“It’s okay to say it sometimes, Buffy. It is what it is. I look like him, and sometimes, apparently, he shows up in the things I say and do. I understand that. I just want you to like the parts that are just me for themselves.”

“Well, I haven’t seen all those parts yet, have I?” she said, blushing at her own boldness, but encouraged when he choked and almost swerved the car into a tree. 

“Oh, trust me, Buffy. We are going to remedy that as soon as can get this thing parked.” He turned into the hotel lot, into the first parking place he found, and switched the engine off, turning and reaching for her in almost one motion. He pulled her across the space between the seats and into a searing kiss. He continued the kiss until they were both gasping for air.

“We have to check in,” she whimpered as he ran his hands under her shirt.

“Nope. I checked in when I made the reservation in person. Got the key in my pocket. Room 324.” He unhooked her bra and slid his hand around to stroke the bottom of her breast. “Ahhh…” he said, his voice shaking. “The feel of your skin is…”

“Upstairs. Now.” She pushed him away and opened her door. He followed quickly, leaving her overnight case behind for the time being. Using a side door that opened easily with the key he already had in his hand, they were in the hotel and running up the fire stairs to the third floor. It briefly crossed Buffy’s mind that while running up two flights of stairs was nothing to her, it might be a bit much for an English teacher. However, he was right behind her and not even breathing hard when they burst out into the hallway and looked to see which way it was to Room 324.

“This way.” He took her hand as they hurried down the hall, not quite running, but covering the carpeted space very quickly. Stopping in front of the door, he dropped her hand and tipped her face up to his for a soft, chaste kiss. He inserted the key and opened the door as Buffy asked, “What was that?”

“That was just a reminder to myself that, as much as I want to rip your clothes off right now, I also think I’ve fallen in love with you… and that is just as important to me.”

“Oh….” Buffy was stunned into silence, unsure of the proper response to what she thought was one of the most romantic things she’d ever heard. She put her hand to her lips and felt her eyes welling up. 

As he entered the room, he turned to take her hand again and pull her in behind him. He had already shut the door before he noticed the tears in her eyes.

“Not quite the response I was looking for,” he said, smiling at her. “But I’m taking it as a good sign?”

Buffy nodded, finally finding her voice. “That’s just…. I think that’s the sweetest, most romantic thing anyone’s every said to me.” As she spoke, she knew it wasn’t true. Spike had always been romantic and sweet when they were alone. But no living man had ever made her feel quite as cherished as Bill just had.

“Not a mood ender, I hope,” he said with a small grin. “If it was, I take it back. Never meant it. Not sure I even like you—” 

Buffy’s mouth on his put an end to his attempts to get her to smile with him. It took only a moment for his response to be all she’d hoped for and they fell together onto the bed, pulling at each other’s clothes in a way that was familiar, but different enough for Buffy to maintain her perspective. They were naked so quickly they ended up laughing at themselves.

“Well, here we are,” Bill said, his eyes drinking her in. “I know I’m staring, but what I really want to be is touching you. All over.”

“That works for me,” she breathed, blushing lightly from his appreciative scrutiny. “Touching is good. I like touching.”

He ran one hand lightly down her cheek, then down her neck and to her breast. She sucked in a breath and shut her eyes as he cupped her breast and gently stroked it with his thumb. When he left his hand there, but dipped his head for another kiss, she fell back, crooking one arm around his heck to pull him with her. The new position, which put their naked bodies against each other sent them both into another frenzy of trying to be closer than they already were.

“Jesus, Buffy, I wanted to take all night learning your body, your likes and dislikes, and impressing you with my amazing foreplay, but….” He groaned as she wrapped one leg around his and rubbed against him. “But I don’t think I can last that long…,” he gasped.

“Impress me later, be in me now.” She shifted her body and pulled him all the way over on top of her, opening her legs so his hips could drop between them. While Buffy tilted her hips to give him access, he seemed to have no hesitation about giving her what she wanted, where she wanted it. In a way that was so familiar feeling it almost broke her heart, he slid into her and sighed his relief. As they began to move together, his murmured endearments flowed over her. As it had been with Spike, it wasn’t necessary for her to say anything – as long as she continued to make appreciative sounds and whimpers, he seemed to know exactly what to do to keep her building toward a happy ending. 

As her sounds became louder and more forceful, his hips churned harder and he whispered in her ear, “Come for me, love. Come with me, Slayer, I know you can do it.”

At the “Slayer” coming from the man who never called her anything but Buffy, she gave a little shriek and clenched around him, forgetting briefly that he was only a normal human man. Before she could relax and apologize, she felt him explode within her, giving no sign that he was anything but more than pleased with her reaction.

As they rested together, breathing gradually returning to normal, he made as if to roll off, but Buffy held him in place with her arms and legs. 

“No. Stay there. Please.”

“You won’t get any argument from me,” he said, nuzzling the side of her neck. “I just thought I might be getting too heav—” He snorted. “Guess that was sort of a dumb thing to worry about, huh?”

She gave her own lady-like sniff and tilted her head so he could keep moving his mouth over her throat. “Well, it’s not like I would enjoy being smushed against your chest or something, but you fit just right. And, yeah, even if you were smushing me, I could push you off.” She stopped her appreciative mmmmms and stilled under him, turning her face into his neck. “Is that… is that a problem? That I’m stronger than you are?” 

Her voice was muffled, but the uncertainty in it was plain. He rolled them over so that she was lying atop his body and he could use one hand to lift her head up. Holding her gaze, he said firmly, “No. It is not a problem. Don’t ever think that. And if I ever get on my masculine high horse about it, feel free to knock me off.” 

He released her chin, but continued talking to her. “Being a slayer and stronger and faster than I am is no different than if you wore glasses, or had a limp or a speech impediment, or…. Okay, my examples aren’t going where I’d like them to,” he said with a soft laugh. He pulled her down against his chest and nibbled on her ear. “I’m trying to say that those powers are part of you, part of what makes you Buffy. And if I’m going to love you, I have to love all of you… even the parts that could kill me.”

“I don’t think I want to kill you,” she said, running her teeth over his throat and pulling the skin into her mouth for a short suck. She felt him growing hard again within her, and smiled. “In fact, I’m sure I don’t. I have much better ideas.” She sat up, smiling wider when he pushed his hips up with an encouraging hiss. “Hang on to your hat, William. We’re going for a slayer ride.”

 

XXXXXXXX

Hours later, they lay side by side, their hands linked. Bill raised them to his lips and kissed each one of her neatly manicured fingertips. 

“If I admit to being completely out of interest in sex right now, will you think I’m a wimp?”

Buffy shook her head with a giggle. “A wimp? Compared to what?”

He rolled his head to the side and raised an incredulous eyebrow at her. 

“Oh. Well. If you mean compared to Spike…” She shrugged. “What do you want me to say? That you’ve got the stamina and recovery time of a vampire? Of course not.” She leaned in and kissed his chest before looking up at his carefully immobile face. 

“But you know what you do have?” She ran a hand over his chest, stroking her fingers through the soft hairs there. “You’re warm, I can cuddle up to you and it warms me up. You can take me on picnics, and to the zoo and the beach. You won’t stay young forever while I get old and wrinkled…” She stopped and frowned. “At least I don’t think so…. Anyway, my point is, you’re not competing with Spike, you’re competing with the handful of other men I’ve had in my life because you’re human, not a vampire.” She pulled herself up on her elbows until she could look him in the eye. “And those guys? They can’t hold a candle to you. Trust me. I’m well aware that you’re not a wimp. You’re amazing.”

“You’re just saying that to soothe my ego.”

Buffy shook her head and sat up. “I don’t do that anymore. I quit worrying about hurting egos a long time ago. You asked, I gave you an honest answer. Are you like Spike? No. Because Spike was a vampire and almost as strong as I am. He was also a dead man. A very loving and passionate dead man, but just as dead and cold as any other vampire. You’re alive, warm, and just as loving and passionate as he was. Not better, not worse. Just different.” She sighed and lowered herself to snuggle into his side. He automatically put his arms around her as she threw one leg over his. “And I think I like it,” she finished. “I like it a lot.”

His arms tightened around her, but he didn’t speak, and as their breathing evened out and their heart rates dropped, they drifted off to sleep for a short while.

XXXXXXXX 

They didn’t sleep very long. The room was too cool to be comfortable lying around naked, even if you did have someone warm to snuggle up to. Buffy stirred and stretched, blushing when her stomach gurgled.

“I forgot to feed you before I seduced you, didn’t I?” Bill said, also stretching out beside her. He let a hand trail down her arm. “Would you like to do something about that?”

She sat up and ran her eyes down his body, noting the dojo-hardened muscles and tan lines on his skin. She deliberately licked her lips instead of answering him.

“Buffy?” He sat up. “Do you want to run down to the bar and get something to eat? It’s only 10:30. They should be serving for another couple of hours.”

She tore her eyes away from his body and nodded. “Sure. That sounds like a good idea… or we could do room service….”

He laughed and pulled her into his lap. “We’d still have to put clothes on, love. Much as I’m enjoying what I think is the thought behind that look, I really don’t want you to forgo your dinner for it.”

“Mmmmm. Are you sure?” She giggled as she felt him growing against her bare ass. 

“You’re evil,” he said, pushing up into her even as he tried to insist he wanted to order food for them both. 

Buffy laughed and kissed him before sliding off his lap and onto the floor. “FYI, William, calling somebody evil isn’t a good idea in my line of work. Not unless you know they really are.”

“I’m pretty sure you are,” he grumbled, standing up and pulling on his jeans. He made a point of having to adjust himself to make his erection lie along his thigh. 

“Maybe a little bit. But you’re the one who pulled me onto your lap. I can’t help the effect it had.”

“That effect started when you licked those luscious lips,” he snorted. “And don’t pretend you don’t know it.” He gazed at her where she stood, unabashedly nude and grinning at him. “And put some damn clothes on!”

“Wow. One time in bed and you’re already yelling at me. I see how it’s going to be…” 

Still laughing, she took her clothes into the bathroom to clean up before eating. When she emerged, cleaner and completely dressed except for her shoes, she saw that he had also gotten fully dressed. He tossed his car keys as he slipped the room key into his back pocket.

“We probably ought to get your things from the car while we’re down there,” he said. “But food comes first.”


	10. Chapter Ten

**CHAPTER TEN**

They had a quiet dinner in the romantic light of the dark bar, talking about what kind of day Bill had at school and the short trip coming up for Buffy. 

“Is Joyce going with you on this trip?” Buffy shook her head.

“No. I’m just flying out to Cleveland to check on the hellmouth there. I don’t expect to have to do much except patrol once or twice with the slayers there and make sure they aren’t overlooking anything important. I won’t be gone more than a few days, counting travel time.”

“I’ll take you to the airport and pick you up,” he said. “Where will Joyce be?”

“She’ll be at home. As she is constantly pointing out to me, she has super powers and is old enough to watch other people’s children, so she’ll be fine.” Buffy smiled at him. “But I don’t think she’d mind if you checked up on her… and I’d really appreciate it.”

“Check on Joyce, but make it casual. Got it.” 

“Do you think I’m being a bad mother?” she asked, frowning at him. “You do, don’t you? You don’t think I should be leaving somebody her age by herself.”

He sighed. “You know what’s best, love. It’s just, if anyone else asked me if it was okay to go away for a few days and leave their teen-aged daughter with the house to herself, I’d say….” He peered at her. “Were you so well-behaved as a kid that you don’t know what kinds of things they can get up to?”

Buffy choked on her wine and couldn’t answer for several minutes. When her eyes finally stopped watering and she could breathe without choking, she shook her head. “Oh hell no. I was terrible. But it was all slayer-related. I had to cut school, sneak out at night to patrol, lie about spending the night at Willow’s – who was sometimes lying about spending the night with me because we had something to do that required both of us to be out in the middle of the night. Even after my mom finally knew about my… calling, she didn’t quite get that to slay vampires, you have to go out when vampires are out and about. Well before she died, she knew I was never going to be a normal girl, but she never really understood my life completely, partly because I tried to limit what she knew about. I did go to college for a while, but….” Buffy’s expression became somber. “She’d have been so happy to know about Joyce. That she actually did have a grandchild one day.”

“Even if the grandchild’s father was a vampire?”

“Mom liked Spike. She really did. But she would never have expected him to give her a grandchild. She was… gone… long before I went back to meet grown-up William.”

“So the things you got up to didn’t involve having boys over or throwing parties?”

“No.” Buffy elected not to tell Bill about Angel’s nocturnal visits to her room. “They were more like stopping an apocalypse or cleaning out a vamp nest.”

“But Joyce hasn’t had quite those same experiences, has she?”

“No. Not exactly. She gets a lot more free time than I had, and since she has me, she doesn’t have a watcher.” She smiled at him. “I know what you’re trying to say, but I trust her not to do anything really stupid. If you want to let her know you’ll be making sure she’s all right while I’m gone, I’m sure she’ll get the message that she isn’t going to be quite as free as she expects to be.”

“Sounds like a plan,” he said with a grin. “Let’s see what I can do to make having a party sound like a bad idea.”

“If you didn’t work with kids, I’d think those ideas were coming from Spike,” she said with a smile meant to reassure him that she knew it was him speaking. 

“You think he would have been a strict father?”

Buffy laughed. “You might say that. My sister Dawn swore he was ruining her social life and that she wouldn’t be able to date until she was thirty. He _was_ almost that bad about it too, and he was only her ‘big brother’, not her father. I can’t tell you how many boys he scared off. There’s a reason she went to college on the other side of the country.”

He laughed and shook his head. “I doubt I’ll be that scary, but I’ll try not to drive your daughter away.” He took her hand. “And any time you’re ready for me to meet your family and friends….”

“Joyce and Dawn _are_ my family. I think I have some cousins in the Midwest, but we never stayed in touch after my aunt died several years ago. You’ve met Willow. 

“Well, the reason I brought that up is because my mother is getting very impatient to meet the reason she hasn’t seen as much of me as she’s used to. And my niece is dying to meet the first slayer.”

Buffy visibly shuddered. “Trust me, she doesn’t want to meet the _first_ slayer. She’s not exactly a warm, fuzzy person. But if she wants to talk to me or Joyce, that’s fine.”

Still holding her hand, he said, “Have we made enough grown-up small talk now? Can we get our stuff from the car and go back to our room?”

Laughing, she squeezed his hand and stood up. “Sounds like a great idea to me. Let’s go.”

They walked to the lobby, still holding hands, when he stopped her right inside the door.

“Why don’t you wait here? It will only take me a second to grab our bags and be back.” When she started to speak, he stopped her with a hand on her lips. “What are chances there are vampires in this parking lot?” he said. 

Buffy studied his face and knew she was on uncertain ground in terms of his ego. In spite of his earlier words, telling him she didn’t want him going out there alone was not going to be a good idea. Forcing a smile, she said, “Pretty slim. Okay, I’ll wait here.”

The wry twist to his mouth told her he’d seen her indecision, but he just nodded. “Be right back.”

As he went outside, a man stepped up behind her and watched Bill’s progress. At Buffy’s sidelong frown, he introduced himself. “I’m Jack Sedak. Hotel security. We’ve had some issues with thugs trying to get away with things while guests are busy unloading baggage. I’m just keeping an eye out in case I need to—Dammit!” He stepped around Buffy and broke into a run, then, before she could catch up, he slowed down and took out his phone.

In spite of not wanting to appear to be running to the rescue, Buffy began jogging in the direction of the car. She saw Jack put his phone away and walk up to Bill, who was standing over two men, one of which wasn’t moving.

As she approached she saw him shake Bill’s hand. “Guess you didn’t need me to run to the rescue,” Jack said. “I’ll just put some cuffs on these guys and turn ‘em over when the cops get here.” He turned to look at Buffy. “And here’s your missus. Guess she was worried about you.”

Bill raised an eyebrow at Buffy. “Is that true, love? Were you worried about me?”

“Nah,” she said with shrug. “There were only two of them. I knew you’d be fine.”

Jack stood up from having cuffed both men – who both appeared somewhat the worse for wear – and propped them up against the car. He turned his flashlight in Buffy’s direction and frowned. “You look familiar. Have we met before?”

She shook her head. “Not that I remember, but I’ve lived here for quite a while, so maybe?”

“No… it’s like I know you from…. Shit! No wonder you were right behind me. I remember you from Sunnydale. I was just a rookie. I saw you take out five… guys on PCP…. By yourself.”

“Guys on PCP. Boy, I haven’t heard that in a long time.” Buffy laughed. 

“He knows what you are?” Bill stared back and forth between them.

“I know if you hadn’t taken care of these two scuzbags, she’d have made them very sorry. Even though they’re…. not on PCP.”

“They’re human. You can say it. Bill already met some vamps a few weeks ago. Did okay for himself.”

Jack stared at him in awe, but Bill shook his head. “If you believe that…. I damn near pissed in my pants.”

“I know the feeling,” Jack said with a grin. “That’s why I’m working here in someplace where I don’t have to worry about things like that.” He glanced at Buffy again. “And now I see why.”

Buffy shrugged. “There are a lot of us now. It’s not just me. But there are still vampires and demons. Just not in the numbers you find on a hellmouth.”

As a police car came into the parking lot, Jack waved his flashlight at them. “You’ll probably have to give them some kind of statement, but since we pretty much… or you pretty much caught these guys in the act, it shouldn’t take long.”

Buffy picked up her bag and nudged Bill’s with her foot. “Want me to take this up?” 

He nodded and handed her his duffle bag. While Jack was greeting the cops, Bill whispered to Buffy, “I’ll be right up. Be naked.”

With an answering grin, she turned and began walking toward the hotel, both bags over her shoulder. 

“You know, that’s not an ordinary gal you’ve got there,” Jack said as he joined Bill in watching Buffy walk away.

“You got that right, mate.” Bill turned away. “Let’s get this over with. My lady’s waiting for me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was originally meant to be the last chapter, but then someone asked it it was going to be a Christmas story and I realized how close we were getting to the holidays and I didn't have a Christmas fic yet, so....


	11. Chapter Eleven and Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanksgiving, then Christmas.

**CHAPTER ELEVEN**

In spike of Buffy’s assurance that she wasn’t expecting Bill to move in, and his own agreement that he was in no way thinking along those lines—yet—by the time Thanksgiving had come and gone, he was around so much it was almost as if he did live there.

Dawn had flown out for an early Thanksgiving, met Bill, given him her tentative seal of approval (after expressing her concern that Buffy was only interested in him because he looked like Spike), and agreed with Joyce that he was excellent stepfather material. She hugged Buffy goodbye and whispered that she was very happy for her, ignoring Buffy’s “Don’t get too excited. We’ve only been dating a few months.”

In those few months, Bill had taken Buffy to meet his mother and on actual Thanksgiving Day, she and Joyce joined him at his mother’s house for dinner and to meet the rest of his family. His sister, her husband, Josie – their daughter who’d been a potential slayer – and her husband, and Bill’s two grandnieces were all friendly and made Buffy and Joyce feel very welcome – if a bit overwhelmed by everyone. It occurred to Buffy that her own version of “family” was a very small one, supplemented with a few old friends, and she’d been very pleased to see Joyce playing with the younger girls while she chatted with their mother about being a Slayer. 

It was soon obvious that Josie had made a good decision when she decided to forgo slayer training and have a normal family life. She was a very gentle person and reminded Buffy of Tara; although Buffy didn’t share with Josie that she reminded her of a witch she’d once known. She just smiled and agreed that being a slayer wasn’t for everyone. Josie was soon called to help out in the kitchen, and Buffy leaned in the doorway and watched Joyce and the two little girls roughhousing on the floor.

“You’re awfully quiet,” Bill said in her ear as he walked up behind and put his hands on her shoulders. Buffy leaned back against him and tilted her head to look at him.

“I was just thinking what solitary lives we lead when we aren’t off joining a bunch of other slayers or visiting the main campus for something. I mean, Joyce has lots of friends and she does things with them, but this is good for her. Seeing how big families work.”

“We’re not exactly a big family,” he said. “My mother had just two children, only one of which gave her a grandchild, and now she has two great-grandchildren. The only thing that makes it seem like a lot of people are all the significant others here.”

“Well, compared to my mom, me and Dawn, it seems big. We never lived close to Mom’s sister, so we hardly knew her. And the less said about my dad, the better.” She smiled at him. “This is nice. It’s fun.”

“I’m glad you’re enjoying it. I hope you don’t feel too much like you’re being checked out – for suitability as a girlfriend for me, I mean – not _checked out_ , checked out.”

Buffy giggled. “I knew what you meant. And no, nobody has made me feel weird or on display. Probably helps that Josie knows as much as she knows about slayers. Not as much as she would have learned if she’d gone to the school and into training, but she knows enough that she’s curious about us, not freaked out.”

“Her youngest seems really taken with Joyce. Is there any chance….”

“Oh yeah. I guess we ought to prepare Josie for the possibility. It does sometimes run in families. Spike always swore my mom was just a potential who aged out of her window. He said she’d have been a hell of slayer.” Buffy’s smile was sad, but proud. 

Bill put his arms all the way around her. “I’m sure she would have. She gave birth to you, didn’t she?” 

Ignoring the fact that there were other people in the room, some of them watching, Buffy turned around in his embrace and put her arms around him. “You know, every once in a while you say something and I remember whose soul is rattling around in there with you.”

He sighed. “I try not to be bothered when he puts words in my mouth like that, but I guess I need to get used to it. He’s going to be part of me for the rest of my life, whether you’re in it or not.”

She raised her head to meet his troubled gaze. “I’m sorry. Would you rather I didn’t tell you when that happens?”

He shook his head. “I don’t think it matters, I can usually tell from your expression when it has.”

She leaned away from him, frowning. “What do I do?”

“You look like a woman in love. For just a few seconds, then you’re sad, and then you’re my Buffy again.”

“Oh my God, Bill!” She dropped her arms and stepped away from him. Keeping her voice low, she said, “I’m so sorry! Why do you let me do that? Why do you even want to be around me? We should just stop—”

He stopped her with a searing kiss that had one of his in-laws whistling. When they broke for air, he said, “Don’t you even _try_ to finish that sentence. I’m a big boy and I know what I’m doing. Someday, you’re going to look at me like that, and it will be because you’re looking at _me_. And you won’t be sad about it anymore.”

She reached up and stroked his cheek. “I’m not sad that you’re you. I’m sad when I remember Spike is gone, and then I remember I have you, and I’m happy again. And this time, I was remembering my mom too. That makes me sad.”

She stared at him anxiously, hoping he believed her. He just smiled and pulled her hand to his mouth to kiss it. 

“If I make you happy, that’s good enough for me. For now, anyway. Let’s see if Joyce is ready to leave. It’s getting late and I have plans for you tonight….”

**XXXXXXX**

“So, Christmas. What’s the plan?” Joyce raised her eyebrows and looked back and forth between Buffy and Bill. His presence at the breakfast table had long since ceased to be a novelty, and she waited patiently to see which one would answer her.

“What would you like to do?” he asked. “Any plans we make need to include you and how you want to spend the holidays.”

“Oh. Well… I guess… I don’t have a plan. You’re the grownups, you’re supposed to make the plans!” 

“In that case, what do you think about spending Christmas Eve here, just the three of us, and then going to my mother’s for Christmas dinner? Unless you think that’s too many people. It’ll be like Thanksgiving again, except the kids will be hyped up on presents and cookies.”

“Sounds like a plan to me.” She beamed at him, then changed the subject. “Are we riding to school together this morning or should I start hoofing it?”

“You know how I feel about anybody seeing me bringing you to school too often,” he sighed, shaking his head. “We just can’t do that until… we just can’t do that.”

“It’s not like nobody knows you’re dating my mom, you know,” Joyce said with a snort. 

“I know. But knowing I’m dating her and making it obvious I’m sort of living here are not the same thing.”

“Well if you two just get married—”

“That’s enough, Joyce Anne Summers!” 

Joyce rolled her eyes and flounced from the room. They heard the front door slam behind her, then reopen. “Forgot my bookbag!” Then it slammed again and it was quiet.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright, love. We knew this would happen. She wants a family.”

“I’m her family!”

“Maybe I shouldn’t be here so often. I should probably spend more nights at my own apartment… alone…”

“Is that what you want to do?” Buffy tried to keep her voice even and casual, but failed miserably.

“Hell no!” he said, standing up and pulling her to her feet so he could hold her tightly. “I never want to spend another night anywhere but next to you. But we can’t be selfish about this. We’re giving her the impression that I’m part of her life, and maybe we shouldn’t have let that happen so quickly.”

“Too late now,” Buffy said, snuggling into his chest. “If she already feels that way, then spending the night somewhere else will just make her think we’re fighting or something.”

“True. I’ll give it some thought today. Maybe I’ll come up with something better.”

“Okay. See you tonight, then?”

“Absolutely.” He kissed her long enough to have to adjust himself in his pants, glaring at her giggled response. “I’m going to my apartment after school to get some new clothes, but I’ll be here in time for dinner.”

“Oh, speaking of dinner. Joyce is going home with a friend. They have a Christmas party to go to and want to get dressed together.”

He stared at her.

“What? It’s what girls do. We help each other get ready for parties.”

“I will never understand women,” he said as he put on his jacket. “Maybe we should go out to eat then, if she isn’t going to be home.”

“That was sort of my plan,” Buffy said with a grin. “Good job of picking up on my hint.”

“My mother didn’t raise any stupid children. See you later, Buffy.”

“Later.”

 

**XXXXXXX**

After a nice dinner at the restaurant they ate in on their first “date”, Buffy and Bill drove back to the house and let themselves in. 

“No Joyce in the house. Whatever will we do with our unsupervised time?” He took Buffy’s hand and pulled her down on the sofa. 

“We could make out on the couch?” she suggested, holding her face up for a kiss, which he immediately provided.

“Or we could get naked and roll around on the living room rug,” he murmured against her lips.

“Or that,” she said, already sliding to the floor and pulling him with her. He went willingly, pinning her down with his body while he went back to kissing her. Even after months of making love every time they could decently do so, given the fact that they had to consider the effect upon Joyce, Buffy was still thrilled with the way Bill’s body molded itself to hers. He was not as powerful as Spike – although, as she’d pointed out the first time, much warmer – nor was he as soft as aspiring poet William had been. He felt like the perfect combination between the two.

“You’re perfect for me,” she blurted without thinking when he’d moved his kisses from her mouth to her neck. 

“Nice to know,” he said, raising his head and giving her a puzzled smile. “What brought that on?”

Buffy wriggled against him and pulled him even closer. “I like the way you feel,” she said, blushing at having spoken her thoughts aloud. “It’s like you were made for me.”

He cocked his head at her in that familiar way that no longer made her flinch but often caused her to smile. “At the risk of spoiling what looks like it might be a moment, is that because I feel like somebody else, or because you like this body?”

Buffy’s gaze softened as she smiled at him. “It’s all you. I promise. You’re just right.”

She felt his already hard cock twitch at her words and opened her legs to wrap them around his hips, pulling him against her. “See?” she breathed in his ear. “Just right.”

“I could be just as right if we were naked,” he suggested, contradicting his own words by pushing against her. She moaned in reply and rubbed against the bulge that was nestled just where she wanted it.

“But this feels so good….” she whimpered when he moved off and began to undress her.

“Got something that’ll feel even better,” he promised, pulling her pants off and trailing kisses down her abdomen. “Soon as I get you out of this very pretty, but stubborn underwear.” As he spoke, he lost patience with the elastic on her panties and yanked them down her legs. 

Buffy’s amused giggle broke off with a gasp when he immediately put his mouth on her and began sucking. Within what seemed like only a few seconds of enjoying the incredible sensations he was creating, Buffy was arching up into him with a cry of release. 

While she lay in boneless lassitude and watched, he stripped off his own clothes until he was kneeling between her spread legs, his cock jutting forward. She lifted a lazy hand and stroked it, smiling at his appreciative hiss and the way his hips tipped toward her. 

“I suppose you think I should do something about that now,” she said. 

“All you have to do is lie there and be your usual incredible self,” he said, falling forward on his hands, suspending his upper body over her. He stroked his cock through the damp curls he’d refused to let her wax away, smiling when she shivered and her breathing deepened. Suddenly, she threw her legs up around his hips and pulled him in, raising her hips to meet his. Braced on her shoulder blades, she began squeezing him with her internal muscles while using her fingers to tweak his nipples. 

“Jesus Christ! Buffy. What are you doing?” His eyes were rolled back in his head, his torso remained supported by his now-trembling arms while Buffy slowly brought their lower bodies back to the floor. 

“I’m being incredible,” she said. “How do you like it so far?”

“It’s not bad,” he gasped. “I’ll grade you on it later.” He lowered his upper body until they were once again pressed together and began to move his hips against hers.”

“If it isn’t an ‘A’,” she said, biting his shoulder just hard enough to leave a mark, “you’re getting coal in your stocking next week.”

XXXXXXXX

Snuggled together on the couch with a throw over their naked bodies, Buffy and Bill exchanged quiet murmurs. Hours of taking advantage of Joyce’s absence had left them satisfied and exhausted. 

“Did we miss a room?” he asked, running his hand up and down her arm absently.

“Well, we didn’t do it in Joyce’s room. And I don’t think we did the downstairs bathroom….”

“We’ll catch them next time – not Joyce’s room, but maybe the other one.”

“It’s pretty little…”

“I’ve got confidence in us. We can do it.”

“If and when we get the house to ourselves again,” Buffy reminded him, rubbing her face on his chest. “I think we need another shower. We got all sweaty again.”

“It was worth it. I didn’t even know that position was possible.” He gazed down at her. “When does she go off to college?”

Buffy giggled and smacked him lightly. “Are you trying to get rid of my daughter already? You haven’t even moved in yet.”

“I think I’m ready for that anytime you are,” he said. “And, no, I’m not seriously trying to get rid of her. As much fun as tonight has been, and as much as it made me feel young and virile, I know damn good and well I’m neither of those things. I’m pretty sure we won’t be repeating this anytime in the immediate future.”

Buffy stretched against him. “Well, you’re not all that young, but if you ask me you’re plenty virile. For an old guy…. Hey!” She rolled off the couch to the floor to get away from his retaliatory tickling. She looked around and sighed. “I guess as long as I’m off the couch, I may as well start picking stuff up and cleaning off a few surfaces….” She stood up and stretched again, watching his eyes darken as he stared at her. She shook her finger at him.

“Oh no you don’t. Don’t look at me like that. We need to clean the house up and be upstairs in my bed, with the door shut, when Joyce gets home in the morning.” She grabbed his shirt from the floor and put it on to hide her from his admiring gaze.

He laughed and threw off the blanket. “Trust me, love. I was only enjoying the view. There will be no follow-through here right now.” He grabbed his underwear and put it and a tee shirt on, before joining her in picking up their clothes, putting them on the stairs to go up when they did, and following her around the house putting the things they’d disturbed back into some sort of order. He gazed down at what used to be a centerpiece on the dining room table.

“Did we do that?”

“You did that, Mr. Right-here-right-now. So you pick it up while I wash the table off… I don’t suppose I can use bleach on wood?”

When everything was back in order and they were both yawning, they stumbled upstairs and into Buffy’s bed, falling asleep almost immediately without more than a quick peck for a goodnight kiss and without remembering to close the door.

They never noticed when Joyce got home mid-morning, nor did they see or hear her pause at the doorway to look at the two of them curled up together. She smiled and silently pulled the door closed on what she hoped was going to become a normal sight.

 

**Epilogue**

 

“Is that everything?” Joyce stared around the crumpled papers and ribbons, then began to laugh. “You should see your faces. I’m kidding! What am I, five?” She got up from her debris-filled spot on the floor and hugged Buffy and then, somewhat timidly, hugged Bill. “Thank you. Both of you. I love everything.”

“You’re welcome, honey. And I love my gifts, too.” Buffy beamed as she patted the top box in the small stack beside her on the couch. 

Bill cleared his throat. “Ahem, I… um… I have one more for you.” 

Both Buffy and Joyce looked at him, waiting to see what else he might have. There were no unwrapped gifts left under the tree. He reached in his pocket and pulled out a small, gaily-wrapped box, holding it out to Buffy, whose eyes went wide. Joyce’s happy squeal made him shake his head.

“Don’t get too excited there, sweetheart. There’s a reason I’m not down on one knee.” He turned his attention to Buffy who was holding the box, but hadn’t opened it yet. “It is what you think it is… it’s a ring. But what kind of ring it is depends on you. It could mean we’re going to make this legal one of these days, or it could just be a nice piece of jewelry.”

Buffy stared at him. “It depends on me? Don’t you know what you want it to be?”

“Not till I see your reaction,” he said, holding her gaze. “When I see your face, then I’ll know.”

“No pressure, Mom.” Joyce broke the tension for them. “Open it up!”

Giving Joyce a mock glare, Buffy pulled off the wrapping and opened the cardboard store box to take out a normal ring box. With a hand that she assured herself wasn’t shaking, she opened it and gazed at the beautiful, if atypical, ring presented there. Rather than an ordinary diamond solitaire, the box contained a wide white gold band with letters carved on it. 

“I thought a ring with a stone might get in your way when you’re punching things, and I didn’t want it to be something you had to be taking off all the time.”

“Oh, Bill, it’s beautiful. I love it.” She smiled at him, her eyes shining with unshed tears. “And I love you,” she said, well aware that both he and Joyce were watching her every move. “I love you, _Bill Patterson_.” The emphasis on his name, as well as the emotion in her eyes put a big smile on his face, and he dropped to one knee in front of her. Taking the ring from the box, he took her left hand and asked, “May I?” He didn’t wait for her nod, but slid the ring onto her finger and closed her hand over it. 

Buffy slid to the floor and into his embrace. Their kiss lasted until Joyce said, “Do I need to get the hose?” They broke apart far enough to laugh at her.

“No. We’ll be good. Come here, honey.” Buffy held out one arm as Bill held out his and Joyce walked across on her knees to snuggle in between them. “This is the best Christmas ever,” she mumbled, her face buried in Bill’s chest. “The best ever!”

If Bill muttered “Too bloody right it is”, no one acknowledged having heard it. 

**The End and Happy Holidays**


End file.
